"I Will Not Offer Anything That Cost Me Nothing"
A few months before we left on our mission trip to the Dominican Republic, our trip coordinator, Chad, asked me if I would like to bring my guitar along for when we had worship. I shrugged and said “I don’t really care”, kind of hoping he would say I didn’t need to because I knew it could be a pain trying to travel with it. Needless to say, I ended up taking it along after making sure with the airlines that I won’t be charged or anything like that. But even when we were actually on the planes, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself, “Why the heck did I agree to bring this thing?!” Not only was it a pain to find space to stow it away, honestly, it’s no fun lugging this instrument around along with other luggage. After almost leaving it behind several times, we finally made it to the DR with my guitar and everything else that we brought.
The first few days went by with us going to the villages or the schools to spend time with the kids, teaching them some lessons and songs, or simply playing and loving on them. Seeing how the little things that we were doing was able to make a difference in their lives, and seeing the joy and love that the kids shared with us even though they had so little changed me. Since we arrived, I started this routine of getting up early in the morning and then head down to the beach to walk and pray. As I started to pray about the kids and the things that I saw each day, something in my heart just began to break for the kids, for the people. I asked God, well, more like told Him really, that there has to be something more that I can do. I can’t just sit here and watch this happen, and I’m pretty sure He didn’t just send me all the way here to be with these kids and people for a few days, and then go back to my own little world.
So one morning as I prayed, the phrase “I will not offer anything that cost me nothing” pops into my head. I know it better as a song, but I also remembered it as the words of King David in the bible. I knew God was speaking to me and I started to think of all the things that I could offer, that would cost me something. Items like my ipod, my cellphone, even my camera, came to mind but when I thought about it in the context of the people in the DR, I could see how it wouldn’t really make that much of difference. I mean, I wasn’t even using my cellphone and I barely touched my ipod when I was in the DR. After much thought, it dawned upon me that if there was one thing I could give that would cost me something - my guitar.
The physical cost of it was not all that much to begin with, and I knew that I could afford another over time. What was going to cost was the fact that if I gave my guitar away, I wouldn’t be able to just jam when I’m bored. It was going to take away music, something that means a lot to me away, temporarily for sure, the duration, I have no clue. Basically, it came down to these 2 options: give my guitar away while I’m here, or just keep it with me and I know that would bug me for a long time. I jumped back and forth between the 2 options, mostly because I got really good at talking myself out of giving it away every time I decided I will do it.
I’m one of those people where even if I know that’s exactly what God wants me to do, I still need some type of a confirmation before actually doing it. So I prayed and told God that on Sunday evening, after worship night, I will speak with Dustin and if he says they’ll take it, then I’ll give it. Sunday rolled around, with worship night which was just amazing. I could feel God moving and speaking to me about many other things, but the whole idea about giving up my guitar was nagging at the back of my mind. During the days leading up to Sunday, God was just tugging more and more on my heart. So finally with a hope that Dustin would say no, I went to talk with him after worship night and not only did he say yes, he’ll take it, but he told me about a music school that they run and made arrangements for me to check it out 2 days later. I even got to teach some kids how to play the guitar.
Making the decision to leave my guitar behind to be used for the music school was a tough one, especially when I have nothing to do and I really want to jam. One of my concerns about leaving it in the DR was that I might need it for worship at the summer camp that I’m working at this summer when I returned from the trip. I have since learned that while I will be involved in worship, we have more than enough people who play guitars and instead I will get to play the drums or bass, which ever I choose.
Now that I no longer have a guitar, every time I miss it, I am reminded of how blessed I was on this trip to the DR. I remember all the kids and people I have met and I say a quick prayer for them, and a prayer that my guitar will continue to be used for God’s glory.
singing with the kids at the school in Bombita
teaching a lil girl to play the guitar @ the music school
