today, i got into the pool to hit some laps. water to me, has always been my comfort, my place to vent. water, for a good number of years, was my life. i love being in water. i could spend hours swimming and never get tired of being in the water. many a time, being in the water was like being taken into a whole new world.
so after what has been a really long and crazy past two weeks, i returned to the water to seek the comfort i so desperately needed. as i tried to swim my frustrations away, i found myself being more frustrated. the fact that i was still in recovery from being hit by a truck several weeks ago and cracking several ribs hindered me from going anything more than a warm up pace and it was driving me crazy. even the few times i tried to be stubborn and push myself, the pain would be a reminder that i really need to not overdo myself. not to mention, my freshly dislocated shoulder started to ache before long. so with not much of a choice left, i swam at a leisure pace.
i started to think. why do i love swimming so much? why the water? why was it frustrating me to swim at this leisure pace? why was it such a big deal to me that i dont have a swim team to belong to here? why was it possible for me to spend hours in the water and not be tired of it? eventually i found this answer.. being in the water allowed me to be me, to be really good at something, to surprise people, i was alive in the water. it frustrated me to be unable to go fast because it felt like someone was taking away the one thing that i was good at. that's a pretty scary thought.
but in the most subtle way, i felt God speaking to me. as hard as it is, sometimes, i do need to go easy on myself. i have the worst tendencies to get all caught up with things, and under stress, even the necessities like sleep/rest and food disappear. and as much as i love to be fast in the water, it does no harm to just relax and enjoy sometimes.
also, water is very symbolic. water can be powerful, like the waves of the sea. most importantly, water brings life. that's just like how God is. God is powerful. in the most gentle waves. there are times where the waves are just gently lapping at the beach, but underneath the surface, the currents are stirring up something. God is constantly stirring up something in our lives. at points of exhaustion, we turn to God, for strength, and for new life. when God pours out into our lives, things change. in this broken world, darkness and fear is overwhelming, suffocating. bring life to where you are, in whatever you do. and make a difference.
God sure knows how to get a message across. (:
I pray that as I continue to struggle in life, that every time I go for a swim (because I know I won't ever be able to stay away from it), I will be reminded and be renewed with new life.
Will you bring life to the dry and weary that surround you?
