Acknowledging the Father

look around you. the people that give you hugs n make your day, the smiles you see that bring a smile onto your face, friends that help you to keep going on with the week, the beautiful sunsets that is painted into the sky, the A you got on that test you thought you were going to flunk, professors that patiently explain to you the things you're suppose to know,the people who come along your way just when you need them to. how did everything just fall so perfectly in place? is God not present in every single on of those moments? 

as of late, it seems like i find myself in situations where i can feel Him and sense His presence so strongly, but yet people all around just seem oblivious to it. i can't help but ask God why? how could they be so ignorant toward Him? how and why would He allow them to go around like He wasn't even there? 

after many days of questioning, God finally sat me down and explained it. before i had my "awakening", i was just like all these people that i see now. He has been there from the very beginning, but i too, had ignored Him this whole time until recently. 

my next question then was "why does God allow it?". all those time i was just ignoring Him, He could have made me notice Him. He could make anyone notice Him. then i realized. that isn't God. He won't force us to want to have a relationship with Him if we don't want it. 

as much as God yearns to have a relationship with us, we need to want it in order for it to work. God loves us so much, and that's why He's willing to wait. He will wait until we realize He's there, and He'll be waiting with arms open wide, waiting for us to run straight into them so that He can love us like the loving Father that He is. 

and it doesnt matter how far you've strayed, He's always there, waiting to forgive and to love and be loved.

God is everywhere, whether you acknowledge Him or not. the next time you look at something, think of how you can see God in it. take a moment to acknowledge Him, and thank Him for what has been done. then ask for more, and He will bring it.

Loving the Father

over this past week, school has started to get into the swing of things, and it's been a challenge to keep to my prayer tithe daily. there has been a couple of days where i've messed up, but everything i went back to doing it, i just feel so blessed and it stands as a reminder of why i chose to commit to this. 

i think i've learned the biggest lesson in my life this week: Listening to God and following His direction

i've never been so in tune with God in my life and for the first time, i knew what i should do, what He wanted me to do. 

this week, i had to decide whether or not to quit track. i knew i was only doing it because i couldn't imagine not doing a competitive sport, something ive done my entire life. however, my schedule was clashing with practice times, and i was starting to realize that i really had no passion for throwing. it was starting to become more of a chore and i didnt enjoy it. it was tearing at me, the thought of having to give up competitive sports, but the more i prayed and asked God about it, the more i felt like giving it up was the right thing to do. first, if God wanted me to do track, He would have kept the doors open and created a way for me to make it work. second, He reminded me of what He was calling me to do, and reassured me, that it was not the end of the world if i quit track. i mean, i can still do triathlons along the "sidelines" and that was what i truly enjoyed. so i made my decision, and quit track. i have no regrets, and i feel at peace. and not that i deserve it, but i feel happier, and that is a reward that is such a blessing. 

throughout the week, prayer has been a topic that has been brought up over and over again. just when i thought all this wonderful thing about kicking off a good prayer life was starting to get a little stale and challenging, just hearing it being brought up over and over has got me excited again. 

as i started to pray again, with the excitement that was in me, i thought back about prayer group on monday night, and the one thing that stuck in my mind was relationships with God. something stirred in my heart and so as i sat in the prayer room, instead of starting to pray for one request after another, like i usually when i get "stuck", i asked: "God, what do You want me to pray for?" and then i sat in silence and listened. 

pretty much every time we go to God in prayer, it's with a selfish attitude. we treat God as someone who's there to solve our problems in time of desperation. and if He doesn't "fix" things they way we want Him to, we get upset. we want things our way, thinking that we know best, because when things go right, we take credit for it, and forget that God is the one who knows best. He is the one who despite the way we treat Him, no matter how far we stray, He still loves us and is willing to forgive over and over again if we would only repent. 

i began to cry, because it felt terrible inside, and i didn't know how to respond except to say that "i'm sorry". i thought of the 3 love prayer and the very first love, is to love God. how could i so easily forget about the one who has given all good things in my life? how could i forget about everything that He has done, the countless of things that i should be thankful for, if i even took the time to say "thank you" instead of complaining and making requests. 

then i heard the loving Father whisper, "My Will" and i understood what He wanted. pray for His will to be done. instead of focusing on what we need, focus first on loving the Father. thank Him for all that He has done, for the beauty of creation, for the dawn of a new day. love the Father so that He can share with you what's on His heart. pray, "NOT MY WILL LORD, BUT YOURS BE DONE". 

take a moment to love the Father. take a moment to thank the Father. take a moment to hear what's on the Father's heart.

Following in His Footprints

one of my favorite thing to do since it snowed, is to walk in the tracks that have already been made by people. it's almost like everywhere is this nice white sheet of snow, and there is one set of footprints cutting across, and i can't bear to add anymore, so i walk in the footprints that have been left behind.

and since there's ice everywhere, and its much safer to be walking in snow, i like to run through the tracks and occasionally send up a spray of snow. i know it sounds silly, but as i have to walk from class to class, that is my mini source of fun and really makes my day so much brighter.

as i've done that repeatedly over the past few days, God reminded me of a vision He showed me while i was attending the IHOP One Thing Conference. in the vision, i was a little child, and God was the Father. We were having a good time on the beach and like every curious kid, i was busy admiring the shells and every other thing that was washed up shore and soon fell behind. as He walked, He left behind a set of footprints. when i tried to catch up with Him, i found myself hopping from one of His footprints, to another, as i followed the His tracks. both my little feet could fit into one of His big ones, and He just looked back and smiled. like any good father, He waited, and when i finally caught up, i jumped into His arms, which were open and waiting, and He carried me.

in the snow, sometimes there are other tracks that cross each other, but usually, there is only one that will lead me exactly to where i want to go. God reminded me that it's exactly how life is like. many paths, many options, but there is only one way, His way, and i need to choose to follow in His footsteps, follow the path that He has set out. in life, there will also be many things that i will be attracted to, like a curious little child, but i need to be able to recognize the distractions, and focus on following His ways.

Precious Moments Chapel: Carthage, Missouri

one of my fav in the precious moments chapel

took a trip with some friends to carthage, missouri to check out the precious moments chapel. created out in the middle of no where, just trees and a creek. a whole 17.5 acres of land, by the creator of precious moments, artist Sam Butcher. 

stepping into the chapel, took my breath away. it was like seeing the bible come to live with all the murals that mr. butcher had painted. i never even realized that it was all biblical. and it was so beautiful. there was a tour that we took, and learned of the many stories behind each and every character that were painted into the murals. it's almost impossible of me to pick out one that i liked the most because everywhere i turned it was like "wow". even the ceiling was so pretty. i was like a little kid spinning in circles. all the detail and meaning that went into the art, it was incredible. and i wish someday i could do something like that myself. to create some form of art that is centered around God and His values. 

then came the coin press machine. MY NEW FAVORITE TOY! haha. basically u insert a penny and 2 quarters, and its flattens the penny as well as imprint something of the place onto it. so basically for 51 cents, you get a little souvenir. i got SUPER excited. i did it 3 times. n i got my friends into it too so they all got 1 each. i was so happy after that. and of cos being asian, we had to find the "shiny penny" so it would turn out good. everyone was like staring at us like we're crazy. 

the entire time we were at the chapel, i literally felt like a little kid again running around all over. looking at everything. and every single painting looked so pretty and so cool. it's one of those "oh i like this" and 2 secs later " no i like this better" and 2 secs later " no i like this one best". basically i liked everything. but the picture above, is the main mural in the chapel, and it actually depicts what heaven would be like, with Jesus being in the middle of it all. and the diff characters in the mural, many represent loved ones who have been lost and have been painted in for memory. 

so while i was freaking out and laughing at myself the entire time for being such a kid, all of a sudden is like God smacks me in the head. then it dawned on me. i am a kid. i'm God's kid. and i always will be. and then God starts speaking to me. the artist Sam Butcher, on a sign in the chapel, had said one of his best memories of the chapel is watching little kids look up and pointing at the angels on the mural on the ceiling.  and God just said "that's what i like best about you. your child-likeness. you are my child, and i am your Father."

i was fighting back tears, just knowing that God liked that about me. it has been a huge struggle, growing up and feeling like my childhood was taken away from me, and the longing to be a child again, to experience what a "normal" childhood would be like. at the same time, i'm suppose to be growing up and mature and all. so to know that its ok to be a kid, made me happy. 

being a kid, and having a child-like insight into things, is not always bad. children have that innocence factor, and that makes everything a lot simpler, than arguing with our own minds about what we think is right and what is right by God.

knowing that i'm a child of God and that nothing can ever change that, is awesome!

Developing Prayer Lists

when you have to pray for a couple of hours a day, after a while, the question "what can i pray for" comes up. one of the best ways to solve that problem? have a prayer list(s). 

you don't have to pray for every single thing on the list every day. you might pray for 2 or 3 on one day, or go through the entire list on another day. it is a tool that's there to help you "know" what to pray for, and you don't have to use it all the time.

there are 3 focuses that are helpful to think about when developing a prayer list..

1. Intimacy - things that you want to connect with God about 

- take time to focus on giving love and devotion to God. 

- includes worship, meditation on the Word, fellowship with the Spirit

I used to think that all i had to remember was that God loved me and that was it. always forgetting that it's a 2-way relationship and that i need to tell God that i love Him too. i also never used to like reading the bible, because it never really seem to make sense, but now, i'm slowly starting to learn to meditate on specific verses, and let the words just sink into me over a few days or a week, and then i begin to see that it really is applicable in my daily life. i've also learned to take joy in woshipping and adoring God, and simply enjoy being in His presence. 

2. Petition - praying for God to touch you 

- asking for God's blessing upon your life and ministry

- ask for a breakthrough in inner man, personal circumstances and ministry

- for God's power to be released through your hands, words, deeds

i guess it might just be human nature, but it's never too difficult to demand of God to do this, or make that happen, especially when the situation becomes desperate. but over the past week, i've learned that it's not just asking God for the things that we want. but take time to center our lives around God, and then ask for things that would enable us to move further along the narrow path following His plans. and you'll be surprised at how much God is willing to give you, and how much quicker it comes, because really, He's just waiting for you to ask, and He'll give it according to His time and plans. 

3. Intercession - praying for other people, for God to touch them 

- asking for God's power/justice for others 

- pray for people and places

- pray for strategic issues in society 

through the walks of life, it is inevitable that one would come across people who need God. it doesn't matter if they know God, and it's ok if they don't even know that you're praying for them. i've learned that it's your committment to pray for the person/issue that opens the doors and allows God to work through you. Especially with many situations that are beyond your control, lifting up prayers and asking God to intervene is probably the best thing that you can do to help. 

it's only been about a week, and i'm already learning so much through praying on a daily basis. it's not easy, and so many times i just want to give it a misss but i have to keep reminding myself to stick with it. the challenge is going to be greater once classes start again, but at the same time, i'm looking forward to see how much more there is to learn about God.

Chronicles of Narnia - Voyage of the Dawn Treader

a bunch of us finally went to watch narnia tonight. i've been wanting to see it for quite a while now, so i was pretty excited. i really enjoyed it, even though it was not quite as good as the book, and it really amazed me how much God was speaking to me through the movie. 

in the movie, lucy struggles with her self-image, thinking that she's not as pretty as her older sister and longs to look like her. she would try anything to change her looks for the better, even at the risk of losing herself. then Aslan appears to remind her of who she really is and how her siblings would never have known narnia existed if it were not for her. watching that scene, i could feel God just reassuring me what He told me just a few days ago. that He loved me for who i was, and what other people think don't matter because all that matters is what He thinks and He thinks i'm perfect, just the way He created me to be. 

as the crew embarks on the final leg of their journey to find the 7th sword, they are warned that there would be many temptations but they need stay strong and not give in. it was a reminder of the road that lies ahead will have temptations. esp with all the new decisions and commitments i've made. but like i learned at the conference, i'll need to stay strong. and even if i mess up, to just bounce right back into place, and keep moving forward. 

when they made it to the entrance to aslan's world, prince caspian was given the opportunity to enter, to see if his dad was there, with the one condition that he will never return to narnia. even though he seemed to have chosen to enter at first, he stops at the wall of water and turns back. his reason was that he was done fighting for what had been taken away, and it was time to start fighting for what he has been given, like his kingdom. it felt like God was reminding me of what He had promised when he healed me of all my emotional pain. i had held on to what had been taken away from me all those years, and now it was time to let go and focus on what He has blessed me with. it was time to start embracing what i have, not fighting for what's already lost. 

in several different ways, edmund reminded me so much of myself. when he got frustrated because he was tired of always having to play 2nd string to someone else, like his older brother peter and prince caspian. it was just like me, when i got tired of always having to try so hard to please others and never being good enough. when he made the mistake of thinking of his biggest nightmare, and the sea serpent appears, he blames himself for it. that was just like me all those years, everything that went wrong was my fault, even if it was beyond my control. but i could feel God telling me that it was all over. it was time to let it go. He has taken it all away, and that i won't ever go back that way. 

towards the end, when it came for aslan and the kids to part, lucy knew that she would never return to narnia, because she had grown up, but aslan promised that He would always be watching over her. it was right at that point that i could feel God telling me, He knew i was afraid. i have made all these new commitments, and i feared that i would fail, or that i would go back to who i used to be. but He wanted me to know that He will always be with me, no matter what i'm going through, and that i could trust in Him. 

after the movie, when i got back to my room, i decided to spend some time just going through everything that God has been speaking to me about and i realize just how much God know me. it's mind blowing. He knew that it wasn't going to take me too long before i started asking questions, or doubting, and even though it's only been a few days, He's already found ways to reassure me over and over again, that He will be faithful and true to the end. 

it's about right now that i wish that there was a pause button for everything that God has been telling me, because my tiny brain can only digest so much at the time. at the same time, i think it really teaches me to depend on God and ask Him to help me understand everything that He's trying to tell me. 


oh. did i mention, i LOVE waking up to a painless back and being filled with so much joy, i can't helping grinning ridiculously to myself! :) 

IHOP-KC OneThing Conference Day 4

before i knew it, the conference was coming to an end. i've learned so much, experienced so much, and most definitely been blessed beyond my imagination. 

worship was once again amazing, and i was just filled with so much joy again. i love having a blast worshipping God, and best of all, it never seems to end. the word shared was so powerful. we were created by God, for His pleasure. God created us because He wants a relationship with us, He wants to be our magnificent obsession. just thinking of how 'important' we are, that the God who can have anything He wants, would chose to have a relationship with us, is mind blowing. 

also got a chance to attend another info meeting about IHOPU and the Forerunner Music Academy. even as i listened to all that was being shared, and learned more about FMA and all that they do, i knew that it was where God was going to send me to be equipped. i'm even more excited now than i was before to graduate from college and go to FMA. 

if there's one thing i could take away from this conference, it would be all the teachings on the life of prayer and fasting. i've learned so much about the importance of it and there are many tools on how to start and sustain a life of prayer and fasting. most importantly, even if u have a slip and mess up/fail, just pick yourself back up and jump straight back into it! it's never easy, and it's ok to make mistakes. just keep sticking to it. i'm very thankful to God for allowing me to have an open heart and mind throughout the entire conference. i literally feel like a sponge, soaking every thing up. 

just when i thought i couldn't get any better, of course God would blow my mind away again. worship tonight was literally, a mass Jesus dance party! imagine about 30,000 people in the same venue, with a lot more connected through live webstream, all worshipping and partying it up for God. it was INCREDIBLE and a whole ton of fun. 

if you ever want to have a good time welcoming in a new year, HAVE A JESUS DANCE PARTY!! that was what we did, and it was a blast. there is nothing better than to have the very start of the new year centered around God. it was wild and crazy, but it's just so much fun! and after the conference was officially over, i headed over to the prayer room for the night watch, and had an amazing time spending the first few hours of the new year with God. 

admist all the fun and excitement, the highlight of the night was still healing. 

instead of having a sermon, they followed the leading of the Spirit and entered into a time of prayer for everyone that needed healing. i decided that i was going to take my chances and receive prayers for my back. THIS IS MY TESTIMONY.... 

a little over a year ago, i hurt my back while practicing for cross country, and after several months of unknown, they finally diagnosed me with stress fractures in my lower back. since then, it's been a frustrating road to recovery, lots of uphills and downhills. spent 3 weeks on crutches early on because it messed up my nerves and left leg. countless times i would wake up to back spasms that left me paralyzed for a good 20 minutes. this summer, even though xrays showed that the fractures were healed, i was told to take it easy and that i probably wont ever run long distance again. also if i did and had more fractures, i risked being paralyzed at least waist down. although everything seemed to be doing well over the summer, it started going downhill again after i got back to school. 

we prayed and prayed, and i didnt feel anything different, and was starting to get discouraged, but it was the faith of those who were praying for me that really helped me to believe myself and to keep pressing in. still nothing happened and i was starting to get frustrated, but it was that desire for healing that kept me in it. then Gloria, one of my friends, came over to pray for me too and then she said that i needed to repent from hating my own body. all the emotional hurt that i felt had caused me to hate my own body, and because of that, it was manifesting as physical pain. 

i broke down and wept as i felt God just starting to heal me emotionally, that all the pain that i thought would never be gone was being taken away. no matter how guilty or how terrible i felt about myself, God kept reassuring me that He still loved me, and that it was all going to be ok. right after that, the pain in my back got just a little better, and i was able to lean backwards quite a bit more than i could previously. Praise God!  

i had been warned, that before i was completely healed, it could end up hurting even more at first, but i need to keep believing that i was healed. even after going to bed, i was very fearful of it hurting more because i knew how bad the pain could be, and it was the last thing i wanted to deal with. 

the next morning when i was in the shower, for some reason, i decided to bend backwards. something i dont usually do, and it was then that i realized that i had no pain. i got so excited i kept on doing it over and over. and there was no pain at all! not the slightest bit! throughout the day, i tested it every now and then, and there was no pain. the car ride back from kansas city was the true test because having to sit in a car for a couple of hours usually caused me enough pain that i needed to pop some pills. this time, i made the entire trip pain free!! 

it's been more than a day, and there has not been the slightest little sign of any pain, and i no longer worry about doing something that might risk hurting my back again. Thank God for His healing. both emotional and physical. being pain free is a huge relief, and i've just been ridiculously happy since the conference. it feels awesome!

IHOP-KC OneThing Conference Day 3

Worship all through the conference, has been incredibly powerful. God has really been blowing my mind away, and i just love being able to worship, and actually feel and know that He truly delights in it. it gives me so much joy and energy, even though i'm running on little sleep. 

everything that the speakers have shared today, has really hit home with me, through my thick skull. the whole importance of fasting, is really sinking in. slowly but surely. and as much as i really really want to do an internship with IHOP-KC this summer, the timing makes it impossible, and i also know, it's not where God wants me to be. at least not yet. He wants me on campus, it's not my time yet. 

with each passing day, the "Anna Anointing" on my life is becoming more and more real to me. every worship experience is just surreal. i feel like there's constantly a song in my heart for me to sing to God. i am reminded over and over again by God that this is what He's calling me to do, which i think is really cool. to know that there's a connection with the Spirit through worship has been one of the most incredible feelings ever! 

later that evening, while waiting for the session to begin, i randomly began flipping through the conference guide, which we've had from the very beginning. up until day one of this conference, i've never heard of "intercessory worship" but as i was looking through the descriptions for the different schools under IHOPU, i saw "intercessory worship" in the description for the Forerunner Music Academy and my jaw dropped. i literally almost fell out of my seat. i knew that it was where God wanted me to be, not now, probably after i graduate. looks like the grad school i'm going to be headed to is IHOPU! God sure is changing up all the plans i had, but at the same time, He's been teaching me to really trust Him because He really does know best. preparation wise, i'm going to just spend more time with God because i know only He can prepare me for what is to come. 

today, i also got a chance to speak with Sarah Sun Kim, one of the leaders of IHOP-KC, and also the one who inspired me to start spending a specific amount of time praying everyday. i asked her how she did it, how she managed to stay committed to praying for 2.5 hours everyday (which still seems like eternity to me) and she just looks me in the eye and said. "JUST DO IT". there's no other way, except to have the determination to just do it. other than that, here's some other tips she gave: 

- look at your schedule, put in prayer time and make it a priority

- for starters, you can worship, read the bible, be still

- as you spend more time with God, he responds to you and it won't just be talking to air

- soon, you won't get enough of God and 2.5 hours won't be enough 

after all of that, God convicted me to make the same commitment. time is also very precious to me and after hearing Sarah's testimony, i agreed to it, and so starting next semester, i'm going to be praying at least 2.5 hours a day. i don't know how that's going to work, but i'm going to give it my best shot. will most def share how it goes! it will be a big challenge, but it's my desire to fall in love with the Father again. 

the conference has most definitely helped ot stir up something in me again, and i know there's so much more yet to come. i've reached the point where i'm just ready to keep receiving until its all just overflowing out of me. it is an incredible experience to feel the richness of the Spirit and God's overwhelming love. 

Tonight session, Allen Hood (President of IHOPU) shared about the glory of the human frame. why we should love it. not only because He created us in His image, but He loved us enough to take the human form. We should stop judging ourselves based on what people say about our looks, and most of all, stop defiling our bodies. everything he shared pierced into me. it was as if God was speaking directly to me. before he even got to the altar call, i was already in tears. even as i responded, i just started weeping. i remembered every single one of those moments, in the past 11 years. the suicide thoughts, the self mutilations, all the other physical and emotional pain. i remembered 11 years ago, when everything first started going wrong, my brother telling me that i will never forget what happened. not even when i'm 20. but tonight, i felt a release from it all. i could feel the Father just holding me as i cried and whispering in my ear how much He loved me and that He was taking it all away. i will remember what happened, but i will only remember the good that came out of it. nothing else. 

when you've held on to something for so long, trust me, it feels great when it's all taken away.

IHOP-KC OneThing Conference Day 2

i woke that morning all ready to go, except everyone else was still asleep. we didn't get to bed till about 1am the previous night but i was just really excited and ready to go. so while kinda waiting for everyone to get up, i got to meet and chat a little bit with Stephanie, who stayed at the same place as us. 

as we were talking, she suddenly looks at me and goes "wow, you're all ready to go. i can just see it. there's this light on your face." i didnt even know how to respond to it. i was like "maybe it's too early in the morning or something" because i couldn't quite get how there could be light on my face because it would have shown since we were in a rather low lit area. i dont even know why i waited, but i did and i didnt leave until she said "well, run along now". and i was excited, like a little kid who was allowed to go and play. pretty much bounded out the front doors and happily skipped to the shuttle stop. the weather was suppose to be cold outside, but i was feeling more or less warm and toasty. it was only after i got onto the shuttle did i realize that the warmth was from the inside, not because of how cold or warm it was outside. the closer the shuttle got to the convention center, the more excited i got. 

the morning's worship session was really a lot of fun. i was so filled with joy, it was overflowing out of me. God really is so much fun. i learned that it is one of the most beautiful things to know that when you worship God, He really delights in you and responds to your worship. during the worship, i saw a picture of God as a loving Father, and i was a little girl and we were playing in the garden. i was in His arms and He was spinning me around, making me laugh. i felt so happy. 

during the "lunch" and "dinner" breaks between the different sessions of the conference, they have what is called info meetings about different things and this afternoon, we went to the one about college students movement. i was shocked at the number of college students in that meeting. college students that knew God, who were committed to prayer. it was awesome! the tips we got in regards to starting prayer furnaces on campuses all over the US were also very practical and it was really exciting to know that there is so many like minded college students who are all willing to work towards one goal: God's kingdom. 

later that evening, i got done with dinner early, and so i decided to head to the prayer room for the rest of the time before the evening session and little did i know what was coming. i stepped in and the prayer room was filled. i'm talking about hundreds of people. all just worshipping and then before you know it, we were having this massive dance party praising God and it was AWESOME!!! it had been so long since i got to dance before God like that. i felt a little stupid at first but after a while, it was like what the heck!  and plus there were so many people all doing likewise, we even busted out some kind of a dance routine and it was just so much fun. it was like there was a release of freedom and it felt good. 

during the session that evening, Mike began to talk about the asians and how God was wanting to use us and all that, and so he asked us all to stand, and because there was way too many of us to fit in the front, he told us to go into the aisles as well and there was so many of us it was incredible!! thousands and thousands most likely cos we jammed packed the aisle. what was more powerful is that everyone else got to lay hands on us and there were prayers said in several different asian languages. it was just a true blessing that so many other people, from all over the world, would come together to pray. 

while standing in line for the shuttle after the session that night, my friend Carol and i met Chuck. we got to chat for a long time, mostly because there were so many people in line (we were probably in line for about 45mins) he told us he had previously worked with IHOP - KC for 2.5 years and we just had a good time sharing about how God had been working in our lives through the conference. he asked if we ever considered doing an internship with IHOP, but because of timing clashes, i told him i was most likely going to go to Colorado this summer to do a worship internship. he gave me his card, and told me to email him if i do head that way for real cos he's based there now and has friends at the IHOP in Colorado he'll love to help hook me up with. i'm so freaking excited cos i didnt even know that Colorado had an IHOP! at the end of our time together, Chuck also blessed Carol with the first dollar towards funds to go to IHOPU at some point.

i love it when God sends people to just bless you in more ways than you can imagine.

IHOP-KC OneThing Conference Day 1

i first came to hear about OneThing through a friend, who had spent the weekend there and was sharing about how awesome it is. i've heard of international house of prayer before, and i knew they were kinda all over the US, but i never expected to have one relatively close to me, especially since i'm pretty much like in the middle of no where. 

i was kind of hesitant in signing up for the conference, but gave in, and trusted God to work everything from accommodations to getting to Kansas City. True enough, everything fell into place, and i started getting excited as the time drew nearer. it was just a conference, it was a PRAYER conference which i thought, was really cool. 

it is incredible to see close to 30,000 people coming together for God. it started to blow my mind when we stood in line for the shuttle bus to the convention center. i got more and more excited as the time passed and it drew closer and closer to the starting of the first session. i had no idea what to expect, except that God was going to do something. 

It all started with worship led by Misty Edwards. it was incredible and i could feel myself being drawn in more and more. it was amazing how she lead prophetically and that we were singing prophetic words. it didn't take long to feel the connection with the Spirit and God and it just made me smile. i was enjoying it so much that at some point in my head, i said " God, this is really fun! i love this! just to worship like that, it never feels like it's going to end." and then out of no where i heard Him and He said "Well, i'm glad you're enjoying it, because this is what i want you to do." i was taken aback. i wasn't even sure if there was a name or a way to describe this.. THING, but He wants me to do it. i kind of shrugged it off, but clearly God wasn't done. as worship continued, the words "intercessory worship" came into mind. no idea what it was or meant, but i figured i'll go find out later. it was like a battle in my head, i doubted if something like that even existed, but at the same time, felt like it was something i already knew how to do, really weird. 

i took a wild guess and thought, maybe it was a combination of intercessory prayer and worship. maybe this was God's calling for me. it was still a MAYBE and so of course i didnt give it all that much thought. while the whole introduction and welcome to the conference mumbo jumbo was going on, Sarah Sun Kim, one of the leaders at IHOP-KC shared about how when she was a grad student in Harvard, she wanted to get right with God and have a life of prayer, unlike what she had in college. God asked her to tithe to Him, the most precious thing to her, her time. She made a commitment and set aside 2.5 hours everyday, to pray. she got straight As and more sleep than she ever did through college. something moved in me when i heard Sarah's testimony so i thought, "i'll give this a shot. and start small. so many 30 minutes to an hour a day." that was the half-hearted commitment that i made to God. 

during the dinner break, we went by the prayer room, and it made me so excited to see such a HUGE prayer room and that people were all just there, even during their dinner time, to seek God. it was amazing how quickly i could feel the connection to the Spirit even though we stood in the back for like 5 minutes. 

during the evening session, before Mike Bickel spoke, he shared about the "Anna Anointing", based off Luke 2:36-37, where the prophetess Anna lead a life of prayer, fasting and worship in the temple. she was described as a singer, intercessor and musician. Right when he said those words, i could feel God going "now doesn't that just sound like you?" as i thought about it, the reality sank in. one person too many have told me i've been called to be and intercessor. singing and music is just something i do because i love it. as Mike talked more about the "Anna Anointing", my heart started to pound and i started to question if that was really what God was calling me to do. Mike said he knows that God is calling many people with the "Anna Anointing" and that we can already feel it, and to stand because he wanted to pray. i stood up almost reluctantly, and while i knew that it was what God was calling me to do, my hard head said "God, if you could give just 1 more sign, i would know for sure" as if there weren't already enough signs. As Mike prayed, he began to mention age groups and the first age group he said was "20 year olds" and i knew immediately that it was a confirmation. i slowly accepted it, and i started to see God's plan for my life. i looked back and i could see how He had been working in my life the entire time and how everything fell into place according to His plans. 

for the first time in my life, i finally could truly believe that God had a plan for my life. and i knew that He was constantly working in it, even though i really am a hard head most of the time.

The Journey Begins

My journey begins when i first came to the US to go to college. The first semester was going along pretty alright, and i was having a ton of fun in school, making new friends and all. i never thought very much about prayer, uttering it every now and then when i got desperate. in fact i hated praying. i never could understand how people always had so much to say when i could barely come up with 2 sentences. i always thought of it as kind of boring, and i never ever knew where to start. 

at the end of nov 2009, a 46 hours of nonstop prayer event was organized. all of a sudden, i was like "this sounds pretty cool". there were time slots to sign up for, but i never exactly signed up for any in particular because i was just like "well, i guess i could drop by at some point". it was only when i was asked did i sign up to be in there for 1 slot (1 hour)  when it finally came to the day for the event to kick off, i was excited. and i thought to myself, "this is crazy. i'm excited and i dont even like prayer." 

i found myself hanging out in the prayer room for quite a bit of time. hours of just spending time in there going through the different stations. to me, prayer was always like having to physically talk to God and so the idea of all these different ways of praying was an eye opener. of course, the art station was what drew me the most and i found myself sitting there and painting one picture after another, after another. i dont even know where all the inspiration or ideas came from, but i was enjoying it. 

Earlier, my friend Mariam had asked if i would go with her if she signed up for a 2am slot on the last morning and i agreed. we had gone back to the prayer at about 10pm and ended up deciding to stay until the slot was over. we spent a lot of time just doing worship, i remembered playing the guitar and when my fingers hurt, i switched to hitting some chords on the keyboard that was there too. i remember during one of our conversations, she said "won't it just be awesome if we could hear angels?" and i remember thinking, "well, sure, that would be pretty cool" and that was all that i ever thought of it. before we even realized, we were in there till 5 in the morning. i couldn't help but think, "if all we were doing in there was some form of prayer, we were praying for a long time!" 

i never ever prayed for so long in my entire life, and i realized that i did enjoy it. so i went back, got a couple of hours of sleep, and went back to the prayer room way before my 12 noon slot, all ready with packed lunch and what not. it was like i was camping out there. i dont know what it was, but i just really enjoyed being in there. 

i did what i only could best, worship. i wanted to go deeper, but at the same time, my hour slot was almost over and i was afraid to be worshipping when the person with the next slot came in. so i kinda waited, and the person never showed. it wasn't long before i got deeper and deeper into worship. i was singing and i heard my voice change, it became so rich and full, i almost couldn't recognize it. and then i began to hear all these harmonies, the most beautiful voices and so i peeked open my eyes because i thought someone else was in the room. but there was no one. i closed my eyes again and i could hear it again. clearer and clearer. n slowly it began to dawn on me that it had to be angels. because there was no one around, and the sound was just so pure and beautiful. 

by the time i was done with my worship time, i was so stunned i had heard angels i had to just sit for about an hour and just soak in His presence. i stayed in the prayer room for the rest of the day until we had the closing service to end the 46 hours of continuous prayer. even though the event was over, God had stirred something in me that caused me to start liking prayer. 

along with this 46 hour prayer event, we were launching a prayer room on campus, conversion of a little chapel in the library, the following day. which also happened to be my first birthday ever in the US. in the words of my friend Molly, "the prayer room is a birthday gift from us and God to you." which i thought was cool and funny at the same time. 

over the next semester, i found myself simply loving the prayer room. i was in there so much it was literally my 2nd home. i spent more time in there than i did in my own room. there was just something different about the atmosphere in that room. just because i was in there didn't mean i was praying all the time. i still struggled with how to pray. i did my homework in there (i was very productive in there because there was no distractions) and sometimes just sat there in the silence and said "hi God". 

a year later, i still love the prayer room. we've had a second event, a 48/49 hours of prayer (cos of time difference) and i got to be a part of setting up the event this time. there are so many times i get so overwhelmed with school and people and have no where to go, but being in the prayer room brings so much comfort. it's not about how much you have to say, its just being in His presence and being still before Him. 

since i've been in the US, i've also had numerous people that came up to me, different times and told me "you're an intercessor". every time i hear that, i just kinda laugh it off, like God was playing some kind of a joke on me. i'm just like "really God? it's not very funny. i don't even like prayer. i don't even know how to go about praying those 2 hours, never ending prayers. i can't even pray for 10 minutes and you want me to be an intercessor? yeah right." the one thing i couldn't doubt though, was that prayer was becoming more and more important in my life. i started believing that prayers worked and would try to spend time praying a little here and there, instead of only in times of desperation. 

if you haven't got the idea, my head's probably one of the hardest nut to crack. and so despite all the signs and people telling me and everything else that was happening in my life, i still did not get it that God was calling me. until the OneThing conference in IHOP-KC.

From Dec 28 to Dec 31, together with some friends, we hit the road to Kansas City for the International House of Prayer Onething Conference. During our time there, God moved so much and did so many great things. A lot of learning, equipping, and healing. 

This whole experience has just lead me to fall in love with Him again, the Heavenly father who is so loving and just longs to have a relationship. I've also since chosen to dedicate my life to prayer and fasting, marking the start of my journey in falling more and more in love with the Father, and learning more about Him. 

I pray that everything that will be shared will bless your heart, and may you come to know the great love of the Father. 

Be Blessed.