over this past week, school has started to get into the swing of things, and it's been a challenge to keep to my prayer tithe daily. there has been a couple of days where i've messed up, but everything i went back to doing it, i just feel so blessed and it stands as a reminder of why i chose to commit to this.
i think i've learned the biggest lesson in my life this week: Listening to God and following His direction
i've never been so in tune with God in my life and for the first time, i knew what i should do, what He wanted me to do.
this week, i had to decide whether or not to quit track. i knew i was only doing it because i couldn't imagine not doing a competitive sport, something ive done my entire life. however, my schedule was clashing with practice times, and i was starting to realize that i really had no passion for throwing. it was starting to become more of a chore and i didnt enjoy it. it was tearing at me, the thought of having to give up competitive sports, but the more i prayed and asked God about it, the more i felt like giving it up was the right thing to do. first, if God wanted me to do track, He would have kept the doors open and created a way for me to make it work. second, He reminded me of what He was calling me to do, and reassured me, that it was not the end of the world if i quit track. i mean, i can still do triathlons along the "sidelines" and that was what i truly enjoyed. so i made my decision, and quit track. i have no regrets, and i feel at peace. and not that i deserve it, but i feel happier, and that is a reward that is such a blessing.
throughout the week, prayer has been a topic that has been brought up over and over again. just when i thought all this wonderful thing about kicking off a good prayer life was starting to get a little stale and challenging, just hearing it being brought up over and over has got me excited again.
as i started to pray again, with the excitement that was in me, i thought back about prayer group on monday night, and the one thing that stuck in my mind was relationships with God. something stirred in my heart and so as i sat in the prayer room, instead of starting to pray for one request after another, like i usually when i get "stuck", i asked: "God, what do You want me to pray for?" and then i sat in silence and listened.
pretty much every time we go to God in prayer, it's with a selfish attitude. we treat God as someone who's there to solve our problems in time of desperation. and if He doesn't "fix" things they way we want Him to, we get upset. we want things our way, thinking that we know best, because when things go right, we take credit for it, and forget that God is the one who knows best. He is the one who despite the way we treat Him, no matter how far we stray, He still loves us and is willing to forgive over and over again if we would only repent.
i began to cry, because it felt terrible inside, and i didn't know how to respond except to say that "i'm sorry". i thought of the 3 love prayer and the very first love, is to love God. how could i so easily forget about the one who has given all good things in my life? how could i forget about everything that He has done, the countless of things that i should be thankful for, if i even took the time to say "thank you" instead of complaining and making requests.
then i heard the loving Father whisper, "My Will" and i understood what He wanted. pray for His will to be done. instead of focusing on what we need, focus first on loving the Father. thank Him for all that He has done, for the beauty of creation, for the dawn of a new day. love the Father so that He can share with you what's on His heart. pray, "NOT MY WILL LORD, BUT YOURS BE DONE".
take a moment to love the Father. take a moment to thank the Father. take a moment to hear what's on the Father's heart.
