Worship all through the conference, has been incredibly powerful. God has really been blowing my mind away, and i just love being able to worship, and actually feel and know that He truly delights in it. it gives me so much joy and energy, even though i'm running on little sleep.
everything that the speakers have shared today, has really hit home with me, through my thick skull. the whole importance of fasting, is really sinking in. slowly but surely. and as much as i really really want to do an internship with IHOP-KC this summer, the timing makes it impossible, and i also know, it's not where God wants me to be. at least not yet. He wants me on campus, it's not my time yet.
with each passing day, the "Anna Anointing" on my life is becoming more and more real to me. every worship experience is just surreal. i feel like there's constantly a song in my heart for me to sing to God. i am reminded over and over again by God that this is what He's calling me to do, which i think is really cool. to know that there's a connection with the Spirit through worship has been one of the most incredible feelings ever!
later that evening, while waiting for the session to begin, i randomly began flipping through the conference guide, which we've had from the very beginning. up until day one of this conference, i've never heard of "intercessory worship" but as i was looking through the descriptions for the different schools under IHOPU, i saw "intercessory worship" in the description for the Forerunner Music Academy and my jaw dropped. i literally almost fell out of my seat. i knew that it was where God wanted me to be, not now, probably after i graduate. looks like the grad school i'm going to be headed to is IHOPU! God sure is changing up all the plans i had, but at the same time, He's been teaching me to really trust Him because He really does know best. preparation wise, i'm going to just spend more time with God because i know only He can prepare me for what is to come.
today, i also got a chance to speak with Sarah Sun Kim, one of the leaders of IHOP-KC, and also the one who inspired me to start spending a specific amount of time praying everyday. i asked her how she did it, how she managed to stay committed to praying for 2.5 hours everyday (which still seems like eternity to me) and she just looks me in the eye and said. "JUST DO IT". there's no other way, except to have the determination to just do it. other than that, here's some other tips she gave:
- look at your schedule, put in prayer time and make it a priority
- for starters, you can worship, read the bible, be still
- as you spend more time with God, he responds to you and it won't just be talking to air
- soon, you won't get enough of God and 2.5 hours won't be enough
after all of that, God convicted me to make the same commitment. time is also very precious to me and after hearing Sarah's testimony, i agreed to it, and so starting next semester, i'm going to be praying at least 2.5 hours a day. i don't know how that's going to work, but i'm going to give it my best shot. will most def share how it goes! it will be a big challenge, but it's my desire to fall in love with the Father again.
the conference has most definitely helped ot stir up something in me again, and i know there's so much more yet to come. i've reached the point where i'm just ready to keep receiving until its all just overflowing out of me. it is an incredible experience to feel the richness of the Spirit and God's overwhelming love.
Tonight session, Allen Hood (President of IHOPU) shared about the glory of the human frame. why we should love it. not only because He created us in His image, but He loved us enough to take the human form. We should stop judging ourselves based on what people say about our looks, and most of all, stop defiling our bodies. everything he shared pierced into me. it was as if God was speaking directly to me. before he even got to the altar call, i was already in tears. even as i responded, i just started weeping. i remembered every single one of those moments, in the past 11 years. the suicide thoughts, the self mutilations, all the other physical and emotional pain. i remembered 11 years ago, when everything first started going wrong, my brother telling me that i will never forget what happened. not even when i'm 20. but tonight, i felt a release from it all. i could feel the Father just holding me as i cried and whispering in my ear how much He loved me and that He was taking it all away. i will remember what happened, but i will only remember the good that came out of it. nothing else.
when you've held on to something for so long, trust me, it feels great when it's all taken away.
