the past weekend and week has been really really crazy. swamped with countless activities, tests, assignments, research papers.... countless hours spent doing everything but studying, n then the many hours of sleep forsaken trying to catch up on the books.
but despite everything that was going in school, it was the things on my mind that troubled me the most. as you probably would have heard by now, Japan was hit hard by a massive earthquake and tsunami on march 11. my friend from high school (we played together in a band) lost her home to the earthquake and until today, more than a month later, has yet to find her parents or any other relatives. since she made the decision to return to Japan to search for them, there's been 3 major aftershock earthquakes in the past week n i have yet to hear from her. i can only pray that she is still safe some where.
so yes i've been feeling so mentally, physically n emotionally drained. n its in this valley where i start to ask, where is God in all this? i feel like my life is spiraling very quickly out of control. where is God? i'm sure He knows the pain and suffering of Japan. where is God? all the plans i had that were suppose to work now no longer seem to exist. where is God? i really could use some God in my life now. where is God?
if u do already know, i have a little obsession with take pictures. n because i love sunsets, i always take a ton of sunset pics. so over this past week of insanity, i take a couple of minutes every day, to watch the sunset and capture moments of it. to sit in the peace and quiet, just watching the sun go down as it colors the sky all around it. this is something that has helped me hang on to that very thin thread all week. there is something very calming about watching the sun go down. watching it paint the skies with magnificent colors. it is in those moments that i can't help but marvel at His beautiful creation.
it is in those moments of stillness that i found the answer. i've been like a train running non stop. rest isn't an option. every time something is complete, it's time to start moving on to the next thing. with everything starting to overwhelm me, the focus was keeping my head above the water, not so much of trying to see how God was working in my life. but as always, in His still gentle voice, I hear the gentle assuring voice. all those times i asked "where is God?", He was right there beside me. i just couldn't see it because i was too caught up with everything else. because He wasn't where i wanted Him to be, to me, He wasn't there.
i've learned to treasure those moments of watching the sun go down. to pause, and catch my breath before i take off in a dead sprint to finish something else. i've learned to stop and see where God is, how He is constantly at work in our lives, even when we fail to see it.
just as the sun sets everyday, we know it's going to rise in the morning. at the end of each day, commit all your worries, frustrations, pain to God, because when the morning comes around, He'll turn them into joy. don't keep asking "God, where are you?" because He's always right by your side. ask "God, help me to see what You see."