but after i found out that my good fren from high school, who's japanese, lost her home to the earthquake, and had yet to find her parents, the words of my song began to mean so much more to me, and i started to care a lot more about what was going on in Japan, the devastation and aftermath.
i had 2 of my friends here at college to play the piano and sing with me, but still i was shaking before it was time for us to sing. i was very very nervous. and i felt very vulnerable. for once, i didn't have my guitar to hide behind, and i knew i had to keep my emotions in check to finish singing the song.
my biggest worry was my emotions. it was the first time that i was going to share with people something that i wrote, and also, i had found out that my friend, was headed back to Japan to search for her parents. i was very afraid that she would get hurt, that i may never see her again. plus, i felt like i had no clue what i was doing and wanted to back out of it all.
i remember whispering a prayer just as we were getting on stage, for God to do something. i was nervous, n people who knew kept telling me to focus on my friend, which just made me want to cry. i chose to share the song because i wanted people to know what was going on out there, and also, i wanted them to see that even in hopeless situations, that He could still work wonders. I wanted people to know how blessed they were, and how much those people were in need.
the vulnerability i felt hit really hard when i had to share the "history" of the song. i was literally pouring my heart out to people, and i had no idea how they would respond. having spent time talking and listen to my friend share about all she was going through, the words of the song just seem to come alive. by the time i was done, i was struggling to hold back tears.
i know God moved my heart, but it was only after all the comments that i saw how He was moving in the lives of others as well. it was not longer about me, and i was so glad that people were touched by the song, and they experienced God in some way through it.
ever so often, trusting God seems near impossible. especially when we have many other things going on in our minds. but when u make that choice to trust Him, you will see Him moving and touching lives, beyond your imagination.
