its so easy to get caught with evangelism.what is the best thing to say? how can we convince people that they should believe in God? what needs to be done before they can see that God is real and good? how can we help people see that they need God? the truth is, we can't. God is the only one who can convict their hearts. what we can do is live our lives for God and just allow Him to work through us.
over the past few months, i've been learning how action really does speak louder than words, and it's amazing to witness what God can really do when you just be yourself, and let Him do the work. living your life in honor of God, in obedience to His word, is the greatest testimony to people that surround you. it is one thing to say that you believe in God, but it means a lot more when what you do show that you believe in God.
not all too surprisingly, people tend to respond a lot more when u're not shoving the bible or God in their faces. how i learned this? doing stalls. basically u have a team of people that set up these wee little stores just outside the smoking areas of the unions where students go to party, especially on the weekends, and offer free tea, coffee and biscuits. while doing it, just chat with people about anything and everything, not necessarily about God. people are always interested and blown away that people would sacrifice their nights, to stand out in the cold, offering free tea and coffee. they see the action, and are touched by it. and over time, there has been testimonies of people who come by week after week (because they are there partying every week) who have been blessed by volunteers running the stalls, and slowly God convicted them and they were turning back to God or started reading the bible. all because someone cared to show them some love on the weekend.
i learned that, n the way i put it into practice while in Scotland, was that if i was out with my friends, (which usually involved partying) i made sure that even when we had drinks, i never got drunk. that usually gets people to question why, and i was very surprised of how respectful people would be toward my decision. i would just be me, be a friend to my friends, and even just through that, God worked through me and people saw God in me. it wasn't me that made it happen, it was God.
one of the most encouraging experiences was with my rugby captain. who from the first day i met, saw her reject a christian and made me fearful of what she would think when she finds out i am a christian. but instead, we got along great. n by the time it came for me to leave Scotland, she asked if i would pray for her. n hear her say that because i was a christian who never shoved the bible in her face, she's started reading the bible again. you never know what God is doing to what may seem the hardest of hearts.
there are lots of broken people out there. just be yourself and love people for who they are. your action will show them how much God loves them as well. and allow God to do the conviction. :)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Faith Like A Child
" Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." - Mark 10:14
This verse has continually been on my mind all week. I read it when doing my reading for bible read through group last weekend, then on Tuesday morning, during the short chapel after prayer group, the passage in particular was spoken about. Then discussing it during read through group Tuesday evening. There's something about a child that is so valuable. So, along with the beautiful weather all week, I've been spending quite a bit of time in parks and what not observing kids and just allowing God to help me see what is it in them that He values so much and want us all to have.
1. The All or Nothing Attitude
One of my favorite things to do as a kid, that i still love now, is rolling down hills. When I spent the weekend away in Edinburgh, I had good fun watching little kids roll down the hills of Arthur's seat, and joining in for a bit later on. Since it's been beautiful out this past week, I've seen the same thing in the park around the corner from my dorms. Have you ever seen kids with bubbles? They absolutely love it and chasing bubbles is one of the greatest things to do.
When kids play, they either give it their all, or they do absolutely nothing. When rolling down the hills and getting dirty, when chasing bubbles that the wind carries, they give it everything they've got to roll down that hill as fast as they can or pop the bubble before it disappears. There is no in between.
In the wonderful grown up world, it's not quite as simple. There's different percentages as to how much we really want to give, or if what we're doing is worth our all. So often when we have to do something, it's never the full 100% unless it is something we have great love and passion for. Otherwise, we just do it well enough to be accepted, and wonder later on how much better it could have been have we given it everything.
It reminds me of when I used to do competitive swimming. Every practice, you give everything you've got to become stronger and faster. But there will be sets where you only want to go at 70% or 80%. There will be different seasons where instead of just going all out and getting worn out, you hold back, sometimes to as much as 50% or 60% to allow yourself a chance to rest. But when it comes down to the races, it doesn't matter how many times you do the event, for the prelims, quarterfinals, semi finals... no matter how exhausted you many start to feel, when it comes down to the finals, you go all out. you kick and pull as fast as you can with every bit of strength you can find. otherwise, all those hours, days, months of practice goes down the drain.
When it comes to doing something for God, He wants us to have an all or nothing attitude towards it. Either we do it to the very best of our capabilities, and let Him be glorified, or we don't do it at all. There is no in between. Give of your very best because God deserves the very best.
2. Be Curious and Delight in The Simple Things
Kids have so much curiosity in them that pretty much anything will spark an interest. anything at all. from the different colors in a book to the tiniest of bug crawling on a leaf. anything that moves or makes a noise. Usually, they get so much joy out of it, even though it might be their care taker's biggest nightmare.
In our fast paced world, it's so easier to let things go by without paying the slightest attention to them. How often do you take time to just sit and watch the sunrise, or lay out and listen to the creatures making music in the trees? 'I don't have the time', would probably be your answer. It is rather sad to know that people no longer have the time to simply appreciation creation that surrounds us every day. Creation that is created by God for us to delight in. We no longer enjoy watching the flower bloom as we walk by it each day, we forget to thank God that with every sunrise, comes a new day. We forget to say thank you for the blessings that God has given to us.
God longs for us to delight in the simple things. To enjoy the colors of sunset, to enjoy the colors of fall. To watch the squirrel gathering its food, knowing that God cares enough to watch over them and what more you? When it comes to the bible, God longs for us to be curious about His word. To understand the simplicity of His love, to dig deeper to know Him more and more.
3. Complete Trust
Ever watched a child giggle and squeal as Daddy tosses them into the air? How does that bring so much joy? The child is completely unaware of the danger that the action brings. What if Daddy misses catching the child, or if the child was tossed too high, or because the child is so fragile, he or she gets hurt while being caught. These questions don't exist in the child's mind. Simply because they have complete trust in their Father. They know that each time as they fly into the air, Daddy's arms are waiting to catch them. The child knows that no matter what they do, Daddy is never too far away, watching over them like a hawk. The child knows that if they fall, Daddy will be right there to pick them up and help them back on their feet. No matter what the child faces, he or she knows that Daddy will always be there.
That's the kind of trust that God wants us to have in Him. Sometimes through the struggles of life, we lose sight of Him, we can't see Him, and get frustrated thinking He abandoned us. Instead, He's always right there by our side, holding our hand every step of the way. He's always protecting, always guiding. We just need to trust in Him. Trust that He knows exactly what's going on, trust that He will be there all the way. Even when you fall, He will be there to get you back on your feet. If you ever wander away, He's always waiting with open arms for you to come back. Trust in Him.
4. Never Let Go
It isn't too hard to find kids throwing a tantrum because they're tired and no longer want to walk. They want to be carried and even when their parents try to explain in the nicest way possible that they are too big or too heavy and need to walk, the one thing kids will do is to cling on as tight as they can and not let go.
How often do we see kids crying and clinging on to their parents as their parents tell them to be quiet and tries to peel them off their body.
Growing up, we went on a family vacation to Australia, and like every kid on the planet, I had an obsession with Koala Bears. They were cute and furry and I was so excited to finally get a chance to go to a zoo and hold a real one. No one warned me that koala bears DON'T let go. whether it's a tree, or a person or their baby. so when it was time for me to leave, as much as I didn't want to let it go, the zookeeper comes around and tries to peel this koala off me, but it just kept holding on and would not let go.
That's what God wants us to do. To hold on to Him and never let go. He will carry us through the storm and through the rain and back out into sunshine. But in your darkest hour, just keep holding on. There is so much going on in our world today, the only way you can stay safe is to hang on to God, and to His word. Don't let to world lead you astray. Hang on to God and never let go.
5. Resilience
When you see a child fall, your first instinct is to run to them and make sure that they are alright. Usually, before you can even make it to the child, they are right back on their feet and running around again, as if nothing had happened at all. Kids have incredible resilience, more than we give them credit for.
We need to be resilient, just like a child. to bounce right back up every time we fall. Sometimes we need a little pick-me-up and that's what God is there for. He will be there to make sure you're alright. We also need to be aware of what surrounds us and be resilient to the things that may lead us astray. Yes, God is watching over us like any loving Father would watch over His child, but it is our decision if we choose to go away from His path.
Be resilient to any challenges from the enemy. If you hang on to God, you will be equipped with the right armor to stand up strong in times of trial.
That's all my splash of thoughts about what God has been trying to teach me this past week. I've now seen why kids, might not have all the knowledge in the world, but yet are so precious and valuable to God.
You are a child of God. Don't stop being a child. :)
This verse has continually been on my mind all week. I read it when doing my reading for bible read through group last weekend, then on Tuesday morning, during the short chapel after prayer group, the passage in particular was spoken about. Then discussing it during read through group Tuesday evening. There's something about a child that is so valuable. So, along with the beautiful weather all week, I've been spending quite a bit of time in parks and what not observing kids and just allowing God to help me see what is it in them that He values so much and want us all to have.
1. The All or Nothing Attitude
One of my favorite things to do as a kid, that i still love now, is rolling down hills. When I spent the weekend away in Edinburgh, I had good fun watching little kids roll down the hills of Arthur's seat, and joining in for a bit later on. Since it's been beautiful out this past week, I've seen the same thing in the park around the corner from my dorms. Have you ever seen kids with bubbles? They absolutely love it and chasing bubbles is one of the greatest things to do.
When kids play, they either give it their all, or they do absolutely nothing. When rolling down the hills and getting dirty, when chasing bubbles that the wind carries, they give it everything they've got to roll down that hill as fast as they can or pop the bubble before it disappears. There is no in between.
In the wonderful grown up world, it's not quite as simple. There's different percentages as to how much we really want to give, or if what we're doing is worth our all. So often when we have to do something, it's never the full 100% unless it is something we have great love and passion for. Otherwise, we just do it well enough to be accepted, and wonder later on how much better it could have been have we given it everything.
It reminds me of when I used to do competitive swimming. Every practice, you give everything you've got to become stronger and faster. But there will be sets where you only want to go at 70% or 80%. There will be different seasons where instead of just going all out and getting worn out, you hold back, sometimes to as much as 50% or 60% to allow yourself a chance to rest. But when it comes down to the races, it doesn't matter how many times you do the event, for the prelims, quarterfinals, semi finals... no matter how exhausted you many start to feel, when it comes down to the finals, you go all out. you kick and pull as fast as you can with every bit of strength you can find. otherwise, all those hours, days, months of practice goes down the drain.
When it comes to doing something for God, He wants us to have an all or nothing attitude towards it. Either we do it to the very best of our capabilities, and let Him be glorified, or we don't do it at all. There is no in between. Give of your very best because God deserves the very best.
2. Be Curious and Delight in The Simple Things
Kids have so much curiosity in them that pretty much anything will spark an interest. anything at all. from the different colors in a book to the tiniest of bug crawling on a leaf. anything that moves or makes a noise. Usually, they get so much joy out of it, even though it might be their care taker's biggest nightmare.
In our fast paced world, it's so easier to let things go by without paying the slightest attention to them. How often do you take time to just sit and watch the sunrise, or lay out and listen to the creatures making music in the trees? 'I don't have the time', would probably be your answer. It is rather sad to know that people no longer have the time to simply appreciation creation that surrounds us every day. Creation that is created by God for us to delight in. We no longer enjoy watching the flower bloom as we walk by it each day, we forget to thank God that with every sunrise, comes a new day. We forget to say thank you for the blessings that God has given to us.
God longs for us to delight in the simple things. To enjoy the colors of sunset, to enjoy the colors of fall. To watch the squirrel gathering its food, knowing that God cares enough to watch over them and what more you? When it comes to the bible, God longs for us to be curious about His word. To understand the simplicity of His love, to dig deeper to know Him more and more.
3. Complete Trust
Ever watched a child giggle and squeal as Daddy tosses them into the air? How does that bring so much joy? The child is completely unaware of the danger that the action brings. What if Daddy misses catching the child, or if the child was tossed too high, or because the child is so fragile, he or she gets hurt while being caught. These questions don't exist in the child's mind. Simply because they have complete trust in their Father. They know that each time as they fly into the air, Daddy's arms are waiting to catch them. The child knows that no matter what they do, Daddy is never too far away, watching over them like a hawk. The child knows that if they fall, Daddy will be right there to pick them up and help them back on their feet. No matter what the child faces, he or she knows that Daddy will always be there.
That's the kind of trust that God wants us to have in Him. Sometimes through the struggles of life, we lose sight of Him, we can't see Him, and get frustrated thinking He abandoned us. Instead, He's always right there by our side, holding our hand every step of the way. He's always protecting, always guiding. We just need to trust in Him. Trust that He knows exactly what's going on, trust that He will be there all the way. Even when you fall, He will be there to get you back on your feet. If you ever wander away, He's always waiting with open arms for you to come back. Trust in Him.
4. Never Let Go
It isn't too hard to find kids throwing a tantrum because they're tired and no longer want to walk. They want to be carried and even when their parents try to explain in the nicest way possible that they are too big or too heavy and need to walk, the one thing kids will do is to cling on as tight as they can and not let go.
How often do we see kids crying and clinging on to their parents as their parents tell them to be quiet and tries to peel them off their body.
Growing up, we went on a family vacation to Australia, and like every kid on the planet, I had an obsession with Koala Bears. They were cute and furry and I was so excited to finally get a chance to go to a zoo and hold a real one. No one warned me that koala bears DON'T let go. whether it's a tree, or a person or their baby. so when it was time for me to leave, as much as I didn't want to let it go, the zookeeper comes around and tries to peel this koala off me, but it just kept holding on and would not let go.
That's what God wants us to do. To hold on to Him and never let go. He will carry us through the storm and through the rain and back out into sunshine. But in your darkest hour, just keep holding on. There is so much going on in our world today, the only way you can stay safe is to hang on to God, and to His word. Don't let to world lead you astray. Hang on to God and never let go.
5. Resilience
When you see a child fall, your first instinct is to run to them and make sure that they are alright. Usually, before you can even make it to the child, they are right back on their feet and running around again, as if nothing had happened at all. Kids have incredible resilience, more than we give them credit for.
We need to be resilient, just like a child. to bounce right back up every time we fall. Sometimes we need a little pick-me-up and that's what God is there for. He will be there to make sure you're alright. We also need to be aware of what surrounds us and be resilient to the things that may lead us astray. Yes, God is watching over us like any loving Father would watch over His child, but it is our decision if we choose to go away from His path.
Be resilient to any challenges from the enemy. If you hang on to God, you will be equipped with the right armor to stand up strong in times of trial.
That's all my splash of thoughts about what God has been trying to teach me this past week. I've now seen why kids, might not have all the knowledge in the world, but yet are so precious and valuable to God.
You are a child of God. Don't stop being a child. :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Jesus, My Best Friend
over the past month, i've been on quite an adventure in terms of travelling, but it's been all on my own. not that i dont like company, planning for one, is a lot easier when it's just one person's schedule to worry about. but just the reasons of my travels have made it only possible for me to go on my own. not that i haven't made any friends along the way, but sometimes i can't help but wish that i had some company.
on the bus ride to Edinburgh earlier this morning, it just really bugged me that i was making this trip on my own. yes, i was staying on and not returning with the group, but i didnt even bother to see if there was anyone i knew that i could have at least spent the day with. leaving home and going to college in another country miles away from home, i've also learned that no matter how good of a 'friendship' you have with someone, distance and tiem difference will change it all. while i've found pretty good people that i'm glad to call 'friends' where ever i've been, its still ever so often a struggle to have a really really good friend that will always be there, no matter what happens.
between pondering in thought and listening to some brooke fraser on my ipod, it was almost as if i could feel God chuckling and giving me a smack on the back of the head saying, "I'm here you silly. I've always been and will always be." it made me smile just because the answer that i've been seraching for has been there all the while. i didn't even really have to look all that hard if i had just been a little brighter :P
i sat in my seat and reflected upon the past 2+ years since i've left home for college. it hasn't been the easiest, but i can't deny that God has indeed been there every step of the way. it has been an incredible journey learning to walk closer to Him and just depend on Him, especially when there's literally no one else. every time i freaked out something wasn't going right, it eventually all worked out perfectly according to His plan. He's opened doors that i never even expected because i treated it all as a joke. but nonetheless, it all worked out.
despite all the changes and moving that has taken place over the past few years, He has been the one thing that remained constant. i still need to work on trusting Him more and more, but He's always there. forgiving and patient, to pick me up every time i fall and help me to keep growing. most of the time, i've found it a lot easier to rant with Him, whethere it's good or bad, because He knows everything and i won't have to keep trying to explain something else to make someone understand y i'm happy or sad.
Jesus is my best friend. and He can be yours too. He is everything you can possibly want in a best friend. faithful, loyal, encouraging, loving, trust worthy, strength, patient....etc. If you ever feel alone, just call out to Him, because He's there. whether you notice it or not.
i'm reminded of an 'old' song.... "Jesus, You are my best friend, and You will always be. Nothing will ever change that."
thank God nothing will ever change that. armed with this reminder of a best friend that i always had, it's off for more adventures of learning and growing! :) a
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Deep Justice - The Boston Experience
as part of a summer class requirement, i read the book "deep justice in a broken world". what i thought was just going to be something i would read just for class became something that rocked my world. the idea of deep justice is simply righting the wrongs in our broken world. it's finding the root causes of the issues and provide the tools, to come alongside with those in need and help them to solve the issues. not just provide the temporary solutions.
looking at our world today, we are surrounded by brokenness. the homeless person u walk by each day, the elderly person going through the trash can, the child begging for change on the walkway, the one who sits by themselves every day in the cafeteria. we fail to recognize them, after all, why would we go that far out of our way to help someone who's a complete stranger?
as i journeyed to Boston, MA for about a week of vacation, i asked God to open my eyes to see. the 2 days that i spent stuck in the Houston airport, i was very very restless. it was a new environment, a big city. what would deep justice look like there?
upon arrival in Boston, armed w suitcases, and my new friend Nade from Mexico, we attempted to locate the house that we were going to stay at. of cos we got lost and ended up wandering through a housing project that was just a couple of blocks away from our accommodation. there was nothing special about it, but for some reason, i couldn't get the image of it out of my mind. the next few nights, thoughts of the housing project was constantly on my mind.
after wandering around the city for several days, and having a good time, there was something about that housing project several blocks away that was still edged in my mind. so when i had a morning to myself, i decided to take a walk to the housing projects. at the most if people were looking i could just pretend to walk through it. for some unknown reason, i decided to take a candy bar w me, even tho i just ate n there was no way i would get hungry in the 5-10mins walk i was going to take.
i was really nervous as i made the walk over. but when i reached, i decided to be a little bit brave and walk around in the projects. that's when i chanced upon the dumping area for trash and i saw a little boy climbing in the trash bin and digging around. surprising myself, i said hi and asked him what he was looking for. "oh you know, just some food. this is the best spot for scraps." he says with pride, a big grin spreading across his face. i cringed on the inside. he was probably no older than 5 or 6, and he was digging for scraps in the trash.
i offered him my candy bar which he gladly accepted, giving me a huge hug. and we sat down on the steps to chat for a bit. this little guy was 5, has never been to school cos his family can't afford it. his dad is usually gone for long periods of time, 2 older brothers have been arrested for drugs and his mum does odd jobs to make ends meet but hasn't been lucky lately. his mum spends most of her time away from the house so he spends his days looking for scraps to feed himself and 2 younger siblings. its been 3 days since he's had anything close to a meal.
he then invited me to come to his house w him, said his mum is out and he wanted to give some of the candy bar to his younger siblings. i agreed and meeting the other 2 kids almost had me in tears. they're the most adorable kids and just looking at the little that they had just shocked me to the core. their home was pretty much as big as the typical college kids room that we always complain of being too small. they had one thin mattress that they all shared n one blanket. the room was pretty much bare for the most part. there was a small box or used candles that he proudly told me he collects to help keep them warm in the winter.
i watched as my little friend rationed his candy bar and it broke my heart. here i was, on vacation, and this little guy hasnt had a meal in days. he'll never know when his next meal is coming either. not knowing what i could do to best help him, i decided, buying them groceries would be the least that i could do. so off to the grocery store we went, and it was by far the best trip of my life. it made me smile watching this little guy stare in awe of the aisles and aisles of items and grin every time he got to pick out something to put into the cart. almost an hour, and $50+ later, we headed back to his home armed w groceries and some blankets that will last them for quite a while.
what i wasn't expecting was for his mum to be home when we returned, and i'm so thankful that she was very nice and very thankful. she shared w me the dreams she had for my little friend as she said he's the brightest of all her kids and she wanted a good future for him. she wished she could give all her kids a better life. there had to be ways that she could get help, i just didn't know anything about help she could get, especially since i'm not even from Boston. after more sharing and prayer, i left their home, promising to come by and bid farewell when it was my time to leave.
i bet u're thinking just the same. my story ends here. but instead, later that night, for the life of me i couldn't fall asleep and ended up doing extensive research of ways to help my little friend and his family. i was surprised at the amount of help that was out there that they could possibly get. unknown to them, because unlike me, they didn't have the internet. but there was help out there and i was so glad i found all this out, even though that meant losing sleep. the day i was departing, i went by their home to bid farewell, as well as give them all the information i had gathered that could possibly help them.
when i was stuck in Houston on the way to Boston, i wondered if i was even suppose to go at all. but knowing that i made a difference in the life of my little friend and his family, made the entire trip worth it. sure i had a blast being a tourist and meeting up w diff people, but none of that beats spending time w this little guy and being able to bless his family.
i pray everyday that they will be able to have a better life, and find God in the midst of it all.
is there someone that u can help? someone that's been ignored and made invisible. be the eyes that see them, be the hands that reach out to them.
looking at our world today, we are surrounded by brokenness. the homeless person u walk by each day, the elderly person going through the trash can, the child begging for change on the walkway, the one who sits by themselves every day in the cafeteria. we fail to recognize them, after all, why would we go that far out of our way to help someone who's a complete stranger?
as i journeyed to Boston, MA for about a week of vacation, i asked God to open my eyes to see. the 2 days that i spent stuck in the Houston airport, i was very very restless. it was a new environment, a big city. what would deep justice look like there?
upon arrival in Boston, armed w suitcases, and my new friend Nade from Mexico, we attempted to locate the house that we were going to stay at. of cos we got lost and ended up wandering through a housing project that was just a couple of blocks away from our accommodation. there was nothing special about it, but for some reason, i couldn't get the image of it out of my mind. the next few nights, thoughts of the housing project was constantly on my mind.
after wandering around the city for several days, and having a good time, there was something about that housing project several blocks away that was still edged in my mind. so when i had a morning to myself, i decided to take a walk to the housing projects. at the most if people were looking i could just pretend to walk through it. for some unknown reason, i decided to take a candy bar w me, even tho i just ate n there was no way i would get hungry in the 5-10mins walk i was going to take.
i was really nervous as i made the walk over. but when i reached, i decided to be a little bit brave and walk around in the projects. that's when i chanced upon the dumping area for trash and i saw a little boy climbing in the trash bin and digging around. surprising myself, i said hi and asked him what he was looking for. "oh you know, just some food. this is the best spot for scraps." he says with pride, a big grin spreading across his face. i cringed on the inside. he was probably no older than 5 or 6, and he was digging for scraps in the trash.
i offered him my candy bar which he gladly accepted, giving me a huge hug. and we sat down on the steps to chat for a bit. this little guy was 5, has never been to school cos his family can't afford it. his dad is usually gone for long periods of time, 2 older brothers have been arrested for drugs and his mum does odd jobs to make ends meet but hasn't been lucky lately. his mum spends most of her time away from the house so he spends his days looking for scraps to feed himself and 2 younger siblings. its been 3 days since he's had anything close to a meal.
he then invited me to come to his house w him, said his mum is out and he wanted to give some of the candy bar to his younger siblings. i agreed and meeting the other 2 kids almost had me in tears. they're the most adorable kids and just looking at the little that they had just shocked me to the core. their home was pretty much as big as the typical college kids room that we always complain of being too small. they had one thin mattress that they all shared n one blanket. the room was pretty much bare for the most part. there was a small box or used candles that he proudly told me he collects to help keep them warm in the winter.
i watched as my little friend rationed his candy bar and it broke my heart. here i was, on vacation, and this little guy hasnt had a meal in days. he'll never know when his next meal is coming either. not knowing what i could do to best help him, i decided, buying them groceries would be the least that i could do. so off to the grocery store we went, and it was by far the best trip of my life. it made me smile watching this little guy stare in awe of the aisles and aisles of items and grin every time he got to pick out something to put into the cart. almost an hour, and $50+ later, we headed back to his home armed w groceries and some blankets that will last them for quite a while.
what i wasn't expecting was for his mum to be home when we returned, and i'm so thankful that she was very nice and very thankful. she shared w me the dreams she had for my little friend as she said he's the brightest of all her kids and she wanted a good future for him. she wished she could give all her kids a better life. there had to be ways that she could get help, i just didn't know anything about help she could get, especially since i'm not even from Boston. after more sharing and prayer, i left their home, promising to come by and bid farewell when it was my time to leave.
i bet u're thinking just the same. my story ends here. but instead, later that night, for the life of me i couldn't fall asleep and ended up doing extensive research of ways to help my little friend and his family. i was surprised at the amount of help that was out there that they could possibly get. unknown to them, because unlike me, they didn't have the internet. but there was help out there and i was so glad i found all this out, even though that meant losing sleep. the day i was departing, i went by their home to bid farewell, as well as give them all the information i had gathered that could possibly help them.
when i was stuck in Houston on the way to Boston, i wondered if i was even suppose to go at all. but knowing that i made a difference in the life of my little friend and his family, made the entire trip worth it. sure i had a blast being a tourist and meeting up w diff people, but none of that beats spending time w this little guy and being able to bless his family.
i pray everyday that they will be able to have a better life, and find God in the midst of it all.
is there someone that u can help? someone that's been ignored and made invisible. be the eyes that see them, be the hands that reach out to them.
Friday, July 22, 2011
"Just Love Them"
This week, we don't have our own campers. but instead, there's a group called "the royal family kids", which brings kids between the ages of 7-11 who are in foster care, out here for a week of camp. the kids they bring have been abused and neglected, and the camp allows them to just be kids.
one of the days i got to talk w one of their nurses. these kids are the sweetest kids ever, and just seeing them every day all week, we've seen them transform from kids who wouldn't say a word, to kids who are ever so polite. kids who put away the toys they use.saddest thing, most of them are medicated to keep them calm.
meet Josh. he is one of the sweetest little boy that u will ever meet. but when u first meet him, josh might seem a little queer, with a stoned look and not much to say. the first few days i met josh, i often wondered if he was ok, and the only communication i had with him was whatever random question that he would ask, and then walk away, lost in his own world. later i found out that josh, due to the abuse he's been through, is heavily medicated to prevent his violent tendencies. that broke my heart, just because i couldn't imagine what this little 9 year old boy has been through, or who would want to hurt him so bad.
over the course of the week, i learned a little more about all these kids, to hear each one of their stories. kids who would only talk through their stuffed animal, would now have small conversations or at least ask a permission for little things. it made me sad to hear all their stories, what they've suffered, and it made me admire all the adults present, who created this camp just so they could be kids and loved on.
i couldn't help but ask God why? why did He allow such things to happen to these kids? more importantly, i wanted to know if there was a solution to this. what can be done to fix it. His answer? "Just Love Them". there is nothing more that i could do for this kids, besides to love them and show them that they are special. just like all the campers that we have all summer. we never know what each of them go through. even if we did, there's only so much that we can do as counselors. but the very least that anyone can do, is to love these kids, show them that God loves them, and that they matter to someone.
its incredible how just a little love goes such a long way. loving a child, and making them feel wanted, changes their lives forever. the same thing goes just for people in general. give someone a smile, or a hug, cos u never know how a simple act of love will change their lives.
i remember this, as a church vision from years ago... "People matter to God, and God matters to us, so people matter to us." go out there and share the love.
one of the days i got to talk w one of their nurses. these kids are the sweetest kids ever, and just seeing them every day all week, we've seen them transform from kids who wouldn't say a word, to kids who are ever so polite. kids who put away the toys they use.saddest thing, most of them are medicated to keep them calm.
meet Josh. he is one of the sweetest little boy that u will ever meet. but when u first meet him, josh might seem a little queer, with a stoned look and not much to say. the first few days i met josh, i often wondered if he was ok, and the only communication i had with him was whatever random question that he would ask, and then walk away, lost in his own world. later i found out that josh, due to the abuse he's been through, is heavily medicated to prevent his violent tendencies. that broke my heart, just because i couldn't imagine what this little 9 year old boy has been through, or who would want to hurt him so bad.
over the course of the week, i learned a little more about all these kids, to hear each one of their stories. kids who would only talk through their stuffed animal, would now have small conversations or at least ask a permission for little things. it made me sad to hear all their stories, what they've suffered, and it made me admire all the adults present, who created this camp just so they could be kids and loved on.
i couldn't help but ask God why? why did He allow such things to happen to these kids? more importantly, i wanted to know if there was a solution to this. what can be done to fix it. His answer? "Just Love Them". there is nothing more that i could do for this kids, besides to love them and show them that they are special. just like all the campers that we have all summer. we never know what each of them go through. even if we did, there's only so much that we can do as counselors. but the very least that anyone can do, is to love these kids, show them that God loves them, and that they matter to someone.
its incredible how just a little love goes such a long way. loving a child, and making them feel wanted, changes their lives forever. the same thing goes just for people in general. give someone a smile, or a hug, cos u never know how a simple act of love will change their lives.
i remember this, as a church vision from years ago... "People matter to God, and God matters to us, so people matter to us." go out there and share the love.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
" Get Up and Get Down"
Week 1 at camp was a challenge. Even counselors who have worked out here for several years said it's the worst they've ever seen. It's normal to have a particular age group that is more out of control than the rest. but this week, it was all 3 age groups and for the counselors, it was a nightmare.
i work with the junior high kids (7&8 graders) and if i thought it was going to be like last year, i couldn't be more wrong. we had kids with the worst attitudes imaginable. a 7th grader who refused to tie her own shoes laces. kids who won't stop asking what we were doing next, complaining about how they didn't want to do it. kids who wont sleep at night or during FOB (afternoon nap time) and then complain they're tired when it's time for activities. kids who in every possible way made all the counselors job so difficult we wish we could quit.
i was very frustrated and could not stop asking God, why? i was already struggling just being out at camp, when all i can think about is the DR and how much i wish i could be back there. i disliked being with the kids because i didnt know what to do with them. every time we had bible study or when we were suppose to talk about God, they would drift off so far and couldn't care less when we tried to bring them back. eventually, we just gave up. the goal became to just make it to the end of the week.
but in my most difficult and frustrated moments, i remembered this one thing we were challenged to do from training week. we painted rocks, where we put what we wanted God to help us with this summer, and every Sunday, we would gather and pray as we start another week. Justin, who did the exercise with us, gave us this challenge. to "Get Up and Get Down". basically what it is, is that every morning, when we got up, we would get down on our knees and pray for our kids, pray for camp. because we all as counselors made a pact to stick to it, no matter how hard it was, everyday, i made myself get up and get down. and that got me through the week.
Week 2 comes along, and we had the most awesome group of kids.we had a whole ton of fun, and the kids were so into everything it was just amazing. then halfway through the week, i started asking God, "what are we teaching these kids?"sure we're having a good time, doing all this fun activities. but if they don't learn anything about God, then it's pointless.
"Get up and Get down" this week also came a lot easier. and because we had a smaller week with fewer kids, i got a chance to pray for them individually. i really enjoyed it, and i started to put in effort to look for something that they might need prayer for. it felt like as we went from day to day, i could just see them growing and it made me excited.
at the end of each we of camp, the campers fill out evaluations and the counselors and camp gets ratings and what not. we also get to see what the kids wrote on their evaluations. as i read one evaluation after another with my other counselor, both of us started to cry just because the kids wrote that they learned more about God, or they want to change their lives and live more for God, or they were afraid to pray and now they're not, or that we've shown them to love God more.
the entire time that we had all been wondering if we were even making any impact at all in their lives, God was using us to change their lives. it is also awesome to see all of them put that they want to come back to camp next year.
but this challenge to "get up and get down" is something that all the counselors out at camp have decided, we're going to make it stay. it's got us through our hardest weeks, and even on super good weeks, it's helped us to love the kids more. anyone can try it. it's not always easy, but its definitely life changing.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I Am On A Mission - II
Camp has started and i've been swamped so there still hasn't been time where i can talk all about the DR, so here's another testimony! :)
"I Will Rise"
it was Sunday morning and i was very excited because we were attending the New Life Church, which was in ENGLISH! :) it is a very nice change to be around English speaking people. they asked if we would do an offertory song, and this time, instead of getting our whole group to sing the one Spanish song, 'Montana', that we knew, we decided that we would do the "special music", 'I Will Rise', that Tiffany, Danielle, and i have practiced a few times.
Problem 1. I’m nervous. Always am but I will eventually get over it. sometimes its because i think i'm just not good enough, or that i'm going to mess up because we haven't practiced enough. being in front of a new crowd didn't help. Problem 2. My voice is gone. I don’t know how or why (possibly from screaming at the track meet a week ago) but it was completely gone. i could barely speak, could not even hit the notes in the melody, much less do the high harmony. And it freaked me out. Big time. It was also one of those moments where you just kinda had to wing it so that was our plan.
As worship started, I was frustrated that I couldn’t even sing decently. But as we continued, it seem like my voice was returning, so I calmed down a little. Until I saw one of Dustin’s guitar strings snap. Problem 3. I did not even think of bring my guitar and was going to have to use his. Now I was really freaking out, because I’m going to have to bang out the chords on the keyboard, except I’ve never played this song on the keyboard or practiced on it. i was like "seriously God? you're gonna shove me right out of my comfort zone that isn't all that comfortable to begin with?!" if you don't know, its become a habit that when i sing, i like to hide behind my guitar :P
Throughout the entire sermon, I was freaking out, shaking, and really praying that God would do something because i knew there wasn't anything else that i could do.
The time came for us to sing and I was nervous as heck. Starting out with the verse, I could hear that my voice was still kinda hoarse, shaking and I was afraid of when my high harmony was suppose to come in. I was still debating in my head as we went through the first verse if i should even try.But when we hit the chorus, and right when my harmony was suppose to kick in, i felt like someone gave me a shove off the cliff and the notes just came out of my mouth. It scared me real good. Not only was I not expecting to even hit those notes, they were so pure and sounded way better than I usually would and I knew immediately that God was moving. i felt so pumped i wish i could have just screamed n do a happy dance or something at that moment. haha! :P
After the song, my voice was gone again but I honestly could not care less. I was so thankful that God moved, and there, to me, was a miracle. i'm pretty sure God got a kick out of shoving me completely out of my comfort zone and then show me that as long as He's there, everything will be just fine.
Friday, May 27, 2011
I Am On A Mission
I have returned from my trip to the Dominican Republic. It was such a blessed time with many incredible testimonies. But since I'm busy due to summer camp training (I moved out to camp the day I returned!), here is one of my testimonies from the trip. :)
"I Will Not Offer Anything That Cost Me Nothing"
"I Will Not Offer Anything That Cost Me Nothing"
A few months before we left on our mission trip to the Dominican Republic, our trip coordinator, Chad, asked me if I would like to bring my guitar along for when we had worship. I shrugged and said “I don’t really care”, kind of hoping he would say I didn’t need to because I knew it could be a pain trying to travel with it. Needless to say, I ended up taking it along after making sure with the airlines that I won’t be charged or anything like that. But even when we were actually on the planes, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself, “Why the heck did I agree to bring this thing?!” Not only was it a pain to find space to stow it away, honestly, it’s no fun lugging this instrument around along with other luggage. After almost leaving it behind several times, we finally made it to the DR with my guitar and everything else that we brought.
The first few days went by with us going to the villages or the schools to spend time with the kids, teaching them some lessons and songs, or simply playing and loving on them. Seeing how the little things that we were doing was able to make a difference in their lives, and seeing the joy and love that the kids shared with us even though they had so little changed me. Since we arrived, I started this routine of getting up early in the morning and then head down to the beach to walk and pray. As I started to pray about the kids and the things that I saw each day, something in my heart just began to break for the kids, for the people. I asked God, well, more like told Him really, that there has to be something more that I can do. I can’t just sit here and watch this happen, and I’m pretty sure He didn’t just send me all the way here to be with these kids and people for a few days, and then go back to my own little world.
So one morning as I prayed, the phrase “I will not offer anything that cost me nothing” pops into my head. I know it better as a song, but I also remembered it as the words of King David in the bible. I knew God was speaking to me and I started to think of all the things that I could offer, that would cost me something. Items like my ipod, my cellphone, even my camera, came to mind but when I thought about it in the context of the people in the DR, I could see how it wouldn’t really make that much of difference. I mean, I wasn’t even using my cellphone and I barely touched my ipod when I was in the DR. After much thought, it dawned upon me that if there was one thing I could give that would cost me something - my guitar.
The physical cost of it was not all that much to begin with, and I knew that I could afford another over time. What was going to cost was the fact that if I gave my guitar away, I wouldn’t be able to just jam when I’m bored. It was going to take away music, something that means a lot to me away, temporarily for sure, the duration, I have no clue. Basically, it came down to these 2 options: give my guitar away while I’m here, or just keep it with me and I know that would bug me for a long time. I jumped back and forth between the 2 options, mostly because I got really good at talking myself out of giving it away every time I decided I will do it.
I’m one of those people where even if I know that’s exactly what God wants me to do, I still need some type of a confirmation before actually doing it. So I prayed and told God that on Sunday evening, after worship night, I will speak with Dustin and if he says they’ll take it, then I’ll give it. Sunday rolled around, with worship night which was just amazing. I could feel God moving and speaking to me about many other things, but the whole idea about giving up my guitar was nagging at the back of my mind. During the days leading up to Sunday, God was just tugging more and more on my heart. So finally with a hope that Dustin would say no, I went to talk with him after worship night and not only did he say yes, he’ll take it, but he told me about a music school that they run and made arrangements for me to check it out 2 days later. I even got to teach some kids how to play the guitar.
Making the decision to leave my guitar behind to be used for the music school was a tough one, especially when I have nothing to do and I really want to jam. One of my concerns about leaving it in the DR was that I might need it for worship at the summer camp that I’m working at this summer when I returned from the trip. I have since learned that while I will be involved in worship, we have more than enough people who play guitars and instead I will get to play the drums or bass, which ever I choose.
Now that I no longer have a guitar, every time I miss it, I am reminded of how blessed I was on this trip to the DR. I remember all the kids and people I have met and I say a quick prayer for them, and a prayer that my guitar will continue to be used for God’s glory.
singing with the kids at the school in Bombita
teaching a lil girl to play the guitar @ the music school
Monday, April 25, 2011
Under the Shadow of His Wing
what does it mean to live under the shadow of God's wing? growing up, several of my favorite songs have the words "under the shadow of Your wing" there's the idea of safety, protection, comfort, under His wing. but what does that really mean? and then there's the image of God and He soars like an eagle in the wind. as a child, i always imagined that God was a big, powerful eagle, and as He soared in the sky, there's little me that's hiding right under His wing, safe from everything else.
this past weekend was good friday and easter, a time where we remember the death of Christ and celebrate His resurrection. while most people were in church, at meditative services, i was out in the country, at a barn, mowing this huge lawn on a beastly mower. so i asked God to teach me something while i was VERY HAPPILY driving this mower with all its power. plus, it felt like i was riding a horse which made it even more awesome. up and down, back and forth. as much fun as i was having with the mower, when u have a big area to cover, it slowly will begin to get a tad boring.
so i'm going fast on this great beastly mower, having the time of my life (yes, it was very exciting to this Asian kid that has never mowed a lawn), and all of a sudden, i see this huge shadow coming from above me and it looked like a bird so i literally thought that this giant bird was going to attack me from the top/behind and started slowing down to a stop. in the middle of the field.(mind you, there were people around who were preparing for a wedding reception. which was why i was 'rushing' to get this field mowed). then the shadow got smaller so i looked up, just to make sure there really wasn't anything that was going to attack me. but instead of this giant bird flying through the sky as i was expecting, this "giant bird" was merely a hawk catching the wind and soaring through the sky.
my first thought? "WOW". now i feel enlightened about the phrase "under the shadow of Your wing". the idea of being safe under the shadow of His wing makes so much sense now, not because we're small, but because the shadow is HUGE. also, to create such a huge shadow, God has to be above us, and He watches us from above, with the bird's eye view, keep us safe from all danger.
something i've learned recently is that God really can teach you through anything. especially when you least expect it. you just have to ask. so next time you're stuck doing something and you're at the brink of boredom, ask God to teach you something through whatever you're doing. if He can teach me something when i was happily mowing the field on the monster mower, imagine what else He could teach you if you asked of Him.
this past weekend was good friday and easter, a time where we remember the death of Christ and celebrate His resurrection. while most people were in church, at meditative services, i was out in the country, at a barn, mowing this huge lawn on a beastly mower. so i asked God to teach me something while i was VERY HAPPILY driving this mower with all its power. plus, it felt like i was riding a horse which made it even more awesome. up and down, back and forth. as much fun as i was having with the mower, when u have a big area to cover, it slowly will begin to get a tad boring.
so i'm going fast on this great beastly mower, having the time of my life (yes, it was very exciting to this Asian kid that has never mowed a lawn), and all of a sudden, i see this huge shadow coming from above me and it looked like a bird so i literally thought that this giant bird was going to attack me from the top/behind and started slowing down to a stop. in the middle of the field.(mind you, there were people around who were preparing for a wedding reception. which was why i was 'rushing' to get this field mowed). then the shadow got smaller so i looked up, just to make sure there really wasn't anything that was going to attack me. but instead of this giant bird flying through the sky as i was expecting, this "giant bird" was merely a hawk catching the wind and soaring through the sky.
my first thought? "WOW". now i feel enlightened about the phrase "under the shadow of Your wing". the idea of being safe under the shadow of His wing makes so much sense now, not because we're small, but because the shadow is HUGE. also, to create such a huge shadow, God has to be above us, and He watches us from above, with the bird's eye view, keep us safe from all danger.
something i've learned recently is that God really can teach you through anything. especially when you least expect it. you just have to ask. so next time you're stuck doing something and you're at the brink of boredom, ask God to teach you something through whatever you're doing. if He can teach me something when i was happily mowing the field on the monster mower, imagine what else He could teach you if you asked of Him.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Pause, Catch A Breath.
the past weekend and week has been really really crazy. swamped with countless activities, tests, assignments, research papers.... countless hours spent doing everything but studying, n then the many hours of sleep forsaken trying to catch up on the books.
but despite everything that was going in school, it was the things on my mind that troubled me the most. as you probably would have heard by now, Japan was hit hard by a massive earthquake and tsunami on march 11. my friend from high school (we played together in a band) lost her home to the earthquake and until today, more than a month later, has yet to find her parents or any other relatives. since she made the decision to return to Japan to search for them, there's been 3 major aftershock earthquakes in the past week n i have yet to hear from her. i can only pray that she is still safe some where.
so yes i've been feeling so mentally, physically n emotionally drained. n its in this valley where i start to ask, where is God in all this? i feel like my life is spiraling very quickly out of control. where is God? i'm sure He knows the pain and suffering of Japan. where is God? all the plans i had that were suppose to work now no longer seem to exist. where is God? i really could use some God in my life now. where is God?
if u do already know, i have a little obsession with take pictures. n because i love sunsets, i always take a ton of sunset pics. so over this past week of insanity, i take a couple of minutes every day, to watch the sunset and capture moments of it. to sit in the peace and quiet, just watching the sun go down as it colors the sky all around it. this is something that has helped me hang on to that very thin thread all week. there is something very calming about watching the sun go down. watching it paint the skies with magnificent colors. it is in those moments that i can't help but marvel at His beautiful creation.
it is in those moments of stillness that i found the answer. i've been like a train running non stop. rest isn't an option. every time something is complete, it's time to start moving on to the next thing. with everything starting to overwhelm me, the focus was keeping my head above the water, not so much of trying to see how God was working in my life. but as always, in His still gentle voice, I hear the gentle assuring voice. all those times i asked "where is God?", He was right there beside me. i just couldn't see it because i was too caught up with everything else. because He wasn't where i wanted Him to be, to me, He wasn't there.
i've learned to treasure those moments of watching the sun go down. to pause, and catch my breath before i take off in a dead sprint to finish something else. i've learned to stop and see where God is, how He is constantly at work in our lives, even when we fail to see it.
just as the sun sets everyday, we know it's going to rise in the morning. at the end of each day, commit all your worries, frustrations, pain to God, because when the morning comes around, He'll turn them into joy. don't keep asking "God, where are you?" because He's always right by your side. ask "God, help me to see what You see."
but despite everything that was going in school, it was the things on my mind that troubled me the most. as you probably would have heard by now, Japan was hit hard by a massive earthquake and tsunami on march 11. my friend from high school (we played together in a band) lost her home to the earthquake and until today, more than a month later, has yet to find her parents or any other relatives. since she made the decision to return to Japan to search for them, there's been 3 major aftershock earthquakes in the past week n i have yet to hear from her. i can only pray that she is still safe some where.
so yes i've been feeling so mentally, physically n emotionally drained. n its in this valley where i start to ask, where is God in all this? i feel like my life is spiraling very quickly out of control. where is God? i'm sure He knows the pain and suffering of Japan. where is God? all the plans i had that were suppose to work now no longer seem to exist. where is God? i really could use some God in my life now. where is God?
if u do already know, i have a little obsession with take pictures. n because i love sunsets, i always take a ton of sunset pics. so over this past week of insanity, i take a couple of minutes every day, to watch the sunset and capture moments of it. to sit in the peace and quiet, just watching the sun go down as it colors the sky all around it. this is something that has helped me hang on to that very thin thread all week. there is something very calming about watching the sun go down. watching it paint the skies with magnificent colors. it is in those moments that i can't help but marvel at His beautiful creation.
it is in those moments of stillness that i found the answer. i've been like a train running non stop. rest isn't an option. every time something is complete, it's time to start moving on to the next thing. with everything starting to overwhelm me, the focus was keeping my head above the water, not so much of trying to see how God was working in my life. but as always, in His still gentle voice, I hear the gentle assuring voice. all those times i asked "where is God?", He was right there beside me. i just couldn't see it because i was too caught up with everything else. because He wasn't where i wanted Him to be, to me, He wasn't there.
i've learned to treasure those moments of watching the sun go down. to pause, and catch my breath before i take off in a dead sprint to finish something else. i've learned to stop and see where God is, how He is constantly at work in our lives, even when we fail to see it.
just as the sun sets everyday, we know it's going to rise in the morning. at the end of each day, commit all your worries, frustrations, pain to God, because when the morning comes around, He'll turn them into joy. don't keep asking "God, where are you?" because He's always right by your side. ask "God, help me to see what You see."
Friday, April 8, 2011
Trusting and Allowing the Father to Work Through You
this past week in chapel, i got an opportunity to share a song that i wrote about the devastation brought about by the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan.it wasn't something that i spent an incredible amount of time on or anything, more like a spur of the moment and it all just came together.
but after i found out that my good fren from high school, who's japanese, lost her home to the earthquake, and had yet to find her parents, the words of my song began to mean so much more to me, and i started to care a lot more about what was going on in Japan, the devastation and aftermath.
i had 2 of my friends here at college to play the piano and sing with me, but still i was shaking before it was time for us to sing. i was very very nervous. and i felt very vulnerable. for once, i didn't have my guitar to hide behind, and i knew i had to keep my emotions in check to finish singing the song.
my biggest worry was my emotions. it was the first time that i was going to share with people something that i wrote, and also, i had found out that my friend, was headed back to Japan to search for her parents. i was very afraid that she would get hurt, that i may never see her again. plus, i felt like i had no clue what i was doing and wanted to back out of it all.
i remember whispering a prayer just as we were getting on stage, for God to do something. i was nervous, n people who knew kept telling me to focus on my friend, which just made me want to cry. i chose to share the song because i wanted people to know what was going on out there, and also, i wanted them to see that even in hopeless situations, that He could still work wonders. I wanted people to know how blessed they were, and how much those people were in need.
the vulnerability i felt hit really hard when i had to share the "history" of the song. i was literally pouring my heart out to people, and i had no idea how they would respond. having spent time talking and listen to my friend share about all she was going through, the words of the song just seem to come alive. by the time i was done, i was struggling to hold back tears.
i know God moved my heart, but it was only after all the comments that i saw how He was moving in the lives of others as well. it was not longer about me, and i was so glad that people were touched by the song, and they experienced God in some way through it.
ever so often, trusting God seems near impossible. especially when we have many other things going on in our minds. but when u make that choice to trust Him, you will see Him moving and touching lives, beyond your imagination.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
The Smile of a Child
last night, we had a sleep out event to raise awareness for malaria, and earlier today, some of us headed to a hospital to spend some time with kids there.
i love little kids and i could watch them all day long. i love watching them get all excited over the little things, their beautiful smiles. the one thing that really struck me this weekend, was the suffering of the all the kids.
at our 'imagine no malaria' event, we learned that in Africa, a child dies from malaria every 45 secs. at the hospital, we spend time with kids who were terminally ill, some too young to even understand what they were going through, but still they we smiling and playful. bringing so much joy.
it made me ask God why. why He allowed them to suffer, why He couldn't just save them all. but then i saw how He was working through their lives. these kids, sick they maybe, but they had the biggest hearts that had so much love, the biggest smiles that carried so much joy. there were some kids who were 'visitors' and just came to hang out. i saw new friendships made, exchanging coloring pages.
if God could use the little kids, who were sick, some hooked up to machines. what more can He do through us? but first we have to be willing to obey His Word, and allow Him to do the work in and through us. Even if you think you don't have anything to offer, He can still use you.
these kids had nothing to offer except their child-likeness, their love, their smile. and God is using them. to touch the lives of everyone around them. the doctors, nurses, visitors, friends, family.
i remember the smile of the children, and i remember that no one is ever too young to be used by God. :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
He Knows Everything About You
have you ever wondered how well God really knows you? He's suppose to know everything about you, even the things you don't tell anyone. yet i've realized, especially when things don't seem to be working out my way, i starting doubting how well God really knows me. if He knows, then why aren't things working out?
the problem? what i want might not always be the best for me. which is why sometimes, things don't go right, and i might get disappointed, upset, even furious some times. but ultimately, He sees the big picture and only lets me have the best.
this past week has taught me that lesson. well, more like a reminder because i've been taught one time too many.. the first event of spring break for me was a counselors retreat out at camp. a time for us to get to know each other and have a blast. it was there that i found out that ropes training, which was suppose to be my plans for spring break, was cancelled. and i was just really bummed about it. it was one of the reasons i wanted to work out at camp, and it just really crushed me.
why? it was too late to join my friends on the spring break trip to colorado, something i had to turn down because of camp. and now i basically had nothing to do all break long. how boring. but clearly, God had better plans because late Sunday night/ Monday morning, because of my own stupidity, i ended up dislocating my shoulder. which would mean, if ropes training was not cancelled, i wouldn't have been able to participate due to my dislocated shoulder. which would have made me even more frustrated than i was about the cancelled training.
right until break started, i was exhausted from school. and turns out, not having anything to do this week, just doing a little here and there, and sleeping. lots, was the rest that i really needed. and i've not told anyone, but i've struggled with loneliness the past few months, not because i dont have friends here. but because i miss my friends that i was really close to from high school and some others from back home. and in the strangest ways, i've been able to talk to them this past week and that alone has made me fell so much better.
so yes, God does know me. everything about me. and i'm pretty sure He knows you too. so next time you think that He doesn't care about your life, pause a second and think about how things in your life has worked out when you least expect it to. it's not because of luck, it's because God allowed it to be. :)
Monday, March 14, 2011
What Does God Want?
what does God want? sometimes the thought of asking what God wants for your life can be a scary thought. i know it scares me. mostly because my greatest fear is that what He wants, won't be what I want. but then comes the question: who's is better? what God wants for my life, or what i want for my life?
after living this life for 20+ years, i'll have to admit, trusting God and letting Him do what He wants with my life is a lot better than trying to figure out what i want to do with it. Not just because He knows everything and sees the big plan, but because He's proven to me time and time again that He knows what He's doing. and yes that includes letting me make mistakes and learn from them.
many times, even when i know God's choice is better, im still stubborn and would rather do things my own way because i dont think i can do what He wants me to do. usually it is that way mostly because that's the only way that i'll learn to trust God and turn to Him for help. but of course i would still make the same mistake every time.
when i was 8 years old, someone told me i was going to be a worship leader. i paid no attention to it at all because you bet i didn't believe in it. i was just a kid. in my head, being a worship leader meant having to know some kind of music, play some kind of instrument. all i could do at that point was tinkle some notes on the piano which i hated practicing on. so u could probably understand why i thought it was not for me.
of course God knew what He was doing because here i am 12 years later, doing what i thought was never going to be possible. and it's become my dream because i know that's part of my calling.i look back at my life and i can see that whenever i doubted God the most, He does something crazy that proves to me He knows exactly what He's doing. and many years later, i see that His way was the best way.
this weekend, i've learned to follow God and the leadership of the Holy Spirit while leading worship and it has really blown my mind. my 2 opportunities of worship leading were worship night at covenant group and at a high school lock in.
God had impressed upon my heart as i asked Him what was it that He wanted my covenant group to know. it had to be more than just worship. and even when i got the word and i knew exactly what it was suppose to say, i didn't want to do it. if there was one thing i disliked most about worship leading, is that i have to talk. i have to say something, to people and i hate public speaking and know i had to say something that i had no clue if people would be receptive to scared me. n then when it came time for it, i had no choice but to say it, i was shaking real bad. and then for a moment people we just doing what they were told. n then came the song. n something just overcame me. i could feel the spirit just like "rush" through my body and then people were starting to weep. and i was scared. again. cos i didnt know what to do but i felt that i had to change from our 'plan' and stay w the moment. which when i did, i prayed that my co leader wouldnt hate me for that. in the end, despite all my scares, i know that God moved and people were touched and something changed.
then comes fri night. after a long night playing capture the flag, i was desperately trying to plan worship for the lock in. i dont even know these kids that i would be leading. n it was hard. when 3am rolled around, i decided to just throw something together and then "wing it" so i could get to bed. yeah. that doesn't always work with God. and so for the life of me, despite not sleep the night before, i spent the night tossing and turning, because i couldnt' be at peace with myself about the worship set. and of cos i would be the smarty pants to try and wrestle with God about it. and then i just said " you know what God, just do it which ever way u want. as long as u tell me what u want, i'll do your way."
when i dragged myself out of bed hours later, i realized. that's what it was about the whole time. worship is meant to be about God, for God, i had been freaking out so much that i didnt even stop to ask Him what He wanted. all i cared about was putting something together that people would approve of. i made the same mistake with the 2nd worship session for the lock in and when i finally said "God do something!", all the "issues" i was having went away. and i couldnt have felt more stupid.
and so if you ever wondered if it's ok to ask God what He wants? the answer is yes. i'm pretty sure He would like it better if you asked Him what He wanted instead of just being so wrapped up around what you want because He does care about you and your life. even if He knows that u're going to make a mistake, He's going to make sure He's there to catch you when you fall because that is the loving Father that He is.
sometimes when we get what we want, and it goes terribly wrong, we blame God and ask why if He cared, did He allow us to do it anyways? truth is, there are times when only after we fall and learn from the mistakes we made, do we grow. and it could hurt, some things more than others. but He always knows what's going on. and that's why God never lets you out of His sight. when you fall, He's right there to pick you back up.
life can be a roller coaster. it takes u up, down, spins u around and around. but no matter what life throws at you, turn to the Father and ask "What do you want in my life" and surrender everything to Him. give Him control of that steering wheel and u'll never have to worry about going off track ever.
after living this life for 20+ years, i'll have to admit, trusting God and letting Him do what He wants with my life is a lot better than trying to figure out what i want to do with it. Not just because He knows everything and sees the big plan, but because He's proven to me time and time again that He knows what He's doing. and yes that includes letting me make mistakes and learn from them.
many times, even when i know God's choice is better, im still stubborn and would rather do things my own way because i dont think i can do what He wants me to do. usually it is that way mostly because that's the only way that i'll learn to trust God and turn to Him for help. but of course i would still make the same mistake every time.
when i was 8 years old, someone told me i was going to be a worship leader. i paid no attention to it at all because you bet i didn't believe in it. i was just a kid. in my head, being a worship leader meant having to know some kind of music, play some kind of instrument. all i could do at that point was tinkle some notes on the piano which i hated practicing on. so u could probably understand why i thought it was not for me.
of course God knew what He was doing because here i am 12 years later, doing what i thought was never going to be possible. and it's become my dream because i know that's part of my calling.i look back at my life and i can see that whenever i doubted God the most, He does something crazy that proves to me He knows exactly what He's doing. and many years later, i see that His way was the best way.
this weekend, i've learned to follow God and the leadership of the Holy Spirit while leading worship and it has really blown my mind. my 2 opportunities of worship leading were worship night at covenant group and at a high school lock in.
God had impressed upon my heart as i asked Him what was it that He wanted my covenant group to know. it had to be more than just worship. and even when i got the word and i knew exactly what it was suppose to say, i didn't want to do it. if there was one thing i disliked most about worship leading, is that i have to talk. i have to say something, to people and i hate public speaking and know i had to say something that i had no clue if people would be receptive to scared me. n then when it came time for it, i had no choice but to say it, i was shaking real bad. and then for a moment people we just doing what they were told. n then came the song. n something just overcame me. i could feel the spirit just like "rush" through my body and then people were starting to weep. and i was scared. again. cos i didnt know what to do but i felt that i had to change from our 'plan' and stay w the moment. which when i did, i prayed that my co leader wouldnt hate me for that. in the end, despite all my scares, i know that God moved and people were touched and something changed.
then comes fri night. after a long night playing capture the flag, i was desperately trying to plan worship for the lock in. i dont even know these kids that i would be leading. n it was hard. when 3am rolled around, i decided to just throw something together and then "wing it" so i could get to bed. yeah. that doesn't always work with God. and so for the life of me, despite not sleep the night before, i spent the night tossing and turning, because i couldnt' be at peace with myself about the worship set. and of cos i would be the smarty pants to try and wrestle with God about it. and then i just said " you know what God, just do it which ever way u want. as long as u tell me what u want, i'll do your way."
when i dragged myself out of bed hours later, i realized. that's what it was about the whole time. worship is meant to be about God, for God, i had been freaking out so much that i didnt even stop to ask Him what He wanted. all i cared about was putting something together that people would approve of. i made the same mistake with the 2nd worship session for the lock in and when i finally said "God do something!", all the "issues" i was having went away. and i couldnt have felt more stupid.
and so if you ever wondered if it's ok to ask God what He wants? the answer is yes. i'm pretty sure He would like it better if you asked Him what He wanted instead of just being so wrapped up around what you want because He does care about you and your life. even if He knows that u're going to make a mistake, He's going to make sure He's there to catch you when you fall because that is the loving Father that He is.
sometimes when we get what we want, and it goes terribly wrong, we blame God and ask why if He cared, did He allow us to do it anyways? truth is, there are times when only after we fall and learn from the mistakes we made, do we grow. and it could hurt, some things more than others. but He always knows what's going on. and that's why God never lets you out of His sight. when you fall, He's right there to pick you back up.
life can be a roller coaster. it takes u up, down, spins u around and around. but no matter what life throws at you, turn to the Father and ask "What do you want in my life" and surrender everything to Him. give Him control of that steering wheel and u'll never have to worry about going off track ever.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Servanthood
over the past week, i was blessed with the opportunity to run the sound board for "CHICAGO the musical" at SC. i jumped into it, even tho it made my schedule extra crazy n i was exhausted. but it is an experience i wouldnt trade for anything.
the idea of servanthood and loving others have been swimming in my head as of late and the night before the show started, it dawned on me that God was opening a huge door for me. i found myself being comfortable around the cast and crew and even the jazz band. around people that i knew by face and name, never ever spoke to. and by the end of the the last show, i knew i had new friends, people that i enjoyed working with. people that i can now say hi to when i see them.
one of the things we did with the show was having dinner before each show. so the audience, if they chose to purchase tickets with dinner, would get to have a meal, served by the cast. i found myself landing a hand and i'll have to say, busting tables was a very humbling experience for me. and even tho it was quite a task going back and forth through tables, talking with people, squeezing through tight spaces, working with the cast was a lot of fun. and knowing that people were very happy with the food and service made it all worth while.
i also found myself ushering because no one else could do it. and even though i was doing things i didn't have to, it just made me happy doing them. knowing that i could help in some way was just so much fun. and knowing that what i did was appreciated after was very rewarding. having theater people say that they would love to have me work with them again meant so much.
God has showed me how serving others can be rewarding as well. it doesn't always have to be about you. i know i had more fun working this show because i was able to serve others than i ever would if i had chosen to just stick to what i was suppose to do.
look around you today. is there something that you can do to serve someone? a friend, family, community?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Held in His Embrace
lately i've been kinda in the dumps. the past few weeks have been rough, and it felt like everything was just spiraling out of control. it felt like no one cared, no one could understand. i was so frustrated with everything and was literally worn out.
i questioned why God allowed certain things to happen. i wondered if He cared. and if He did, where was He when my world was seemingly crashing down on me? i even stopped talking to Him because i decided that i really shouldnt bother Him anw.
because im so terribly good at keeping things to myself, i just began to bottle everything up. the more i did it, the more i wanted to hide from the world. people were driving me nuts. nothing was going right. and of cos it didn't take too long before i hit my breaking point.
i had so many things running through my mind. i wanted everyone to leave me alone, but at the same time, i felt so lonely. i wanted so bad to just leave this place n run away. but when i was so broken, and cried out, He came to my rescue.
the loving Father, heard my cries, and in my brokenness, came to meet me and brought me so much comfort. He showed me that He has been there every step of the way. Every time i thought He wasn't there, He was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him and reach out. n that night, i cried my heart out to God, n i knew He understood. He understood everything and i no longer had to hide behind that mask that i put on each day.
sometimes i can't help but laugh at my own silliness. when i get upset, and frustrated, i forget that i have a dad who loves me anyways. even if i make mistakes and stumble, He's right there waiting to catch me. and no matter what i do, He continually showers me with His love. that's all i need. that's all anyone needs.
it doesnt matter if your world comes crashing down. He will never leave Your side.
i questioned why God allowed certain things to happen. i wondered if He cared. and if He did, where was He when my world was seemingly crashing down on me? i even stopped talking to Him because i decided that i really shouldnt bother Him anw.
because im so terribly good at keeping things to myself, i just began to bottle everything up. the more i did it, the more i wanted to hide from the world. people were driving me nuts. nothing was going right. and of cos it didn't take too long before i hit my breaking point.
i had so many things running through my mind. i wanted everyone to leave me alone, but at the same time, i felt so lonely. i wanted so bad to just leave this place n run away. but when i was so broken, and cried out, He came to my rescue.
the loving Father, heard my cries, and in my brokenness, came to meet me and brought me so much comfort. He showed me that He has been there every step of the way. Every time i thought He wasn't there, He was right there, waiting for me to turn to Him and reach out. n that night, i cried my heart out to God, n i knew He understood. He understood everything and i no longer had to hide behind that mask that i put on each day.
sometimes i can't help but laugh at my own silliness. when i get upset, and frustrated, i forget that i have a dad who loves me anyways. even if i make mistakes and stumble, He's right there waiting to catch me. and no matter what i do, He continually showers me with His love. that's all i need. that's all anyone needs.
it doesnt matter if your world comes crashing down. He will never leave Your side.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Who is God?
a little while ago, during one of our prayer group session, we did a little activity which really opened my mind to who God really is. it is rather fun, and not too hard to do at all.
1. have everyone close their eyes and think of words that describe God
2. at random (or popcorn as Americans like to call it) just say those characteristics out loud
3. open eyes and share which word(s) stood out the most
you will be surprised at the words that describes God. or at least i was. sure u'll have the common answers like love, shelter, amazing, glorious.... but then as u start to dig a little deeper, you hear words like servant, sacred, sensitive, victorious, creative, colorful... there is a long long list if you keep going.
"SERVANT" left a deep impression on me. it is so easily to see ourselves in that "servant" position but i personally have never thought of God to be a servant, just the one whom we serve. the first image that comes to mind is that of Jesus, washing the feet of His disciples. sometimes when we think of ourselves having to take that role of a servant, we think of all the things we have to "sacrifice", the "service" we have to do for others before we are considered to have a "servant heart".God made the biggest sacrifice when He gave His only Son, to die on the cross for our sins. That is an act far greater than anything we can ever do and it's not about who makes the biggest sacrifice and has the biggest servant heart. it's about how much and what u're willing to sacrifice and serve others before God set the first example and sent Jesus to the cross for our sins.
many of the words that were mentioned during the activity taught me or reminded me of who God is. it's so easy to forget things we don't often think about. so easy to forget the good and loving Father that He is.
who is God? can u pick a word to describe him? take a moment to remember all that He is to u and learn more about who He truly is.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Acknowledging the Father
look around you. the people that give you hugs n make your day, the smiles you see that bring a smile onto your face, friends that help you to keep going on with the week, the beautiful sunsets that is painted into the sky, the A you got on that test you thought you were going to flunk, professors that patiently explain to you the things you're suppose to know,the people who come along your way just when you need them to. how did everything just fall so perfectly in place? is God not present in every single on of those moments?
as of late, it seems like i find myself in situations where i can feel Him and sense His presence so strongly, but yet people all around just seem oblivious to it. i can't help but ask God why? how could they be so ignorant toward Him? how and why would He allow them to go around like He wasn't even there?
after many days of questioning, God finally sat me down and explained it. before i had my "awakening", i was just like all these people that i see now. He has been there from the very beginning, but i too, had ignored Him this whole time until recently.
my next question then was "why does God allow it?". all those time i was just ignoring Him, He could have made me notice Him. He could make anyone notice Him. then i realized. that isn't God. He won't force us to want to have a relationship with Him if we don't want it.
as much as God yearns to have a relationship with us, we need to want it in order for it to work. God loves us so much, and that's why He's willing to wait. He will wait until we realize He's there, and He'll be waiting with arms open wide, waiting for us to run straight into them so that He can love us like the loving Father that He is.
and it doesnt matter how far you've strayed, He's always there, waiting to forgive and to love and be loved.
God is everywhere, whether you acknowledge Him or not. the next time you look at something, think of how you can see God in it. take a moment to acknowledge Him, and thank Him for what has been done. then ask for more, and He will bring it.
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